Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

A young man and woman were eager to enjoy a picnic in the park one Saturday noon, and they opted to go through a fast-food drive-in for a quick snack. They ordered, paid, got their bag of goodies, and headed for the park. When they opened the bag, it was full on money instead of the hamburgers they expected. They rushed back to the fast-food place and returned the money. “This is WONDERFUL,” exclaimed the manager. “We’ve been looking for this money all morning and couldn’t figure out where it could have been misplaced. You two are an honest couple. A lot of people would not have the morals and honesty to return the money. I’m going to call the TV and the newspapers and let everybody know what an honest deed you’ve done.” “OH, please don’t do that,” says the man, “my wife might see it on TV.”

Silly Joke #2

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action. The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, “You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I’ll give you each a dollar if you’ll promise to come around every day and do your thing.” The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trash cans. After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. “This recession’s really putting a big dent in my income,” he told them. “From now on, I’ll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans.” The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they did accept his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus. A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street. “Look,” he said, “I haven’t received my Social Security check yet, so I’m not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?” “A lousy quarter?” the drum leader exclaimed. “If you think we’re going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you’re nuts! No way, mister. We quit!” And the old man enjoyed peace.

Silly Joke #3

“How was your blind date?” a college student asked her roommate. “Terrible!” the roommate answered. “He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.” “Wow! That’s a very expensive car. What’s so bad about that?” “He was the original owner!!!”

Bonus Silly Joke

A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. “There is a blind man to see you,” she says. “Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I’m in the shower. Send him in.” The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them. She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts: “That’s nice and all, ma’am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.” (Nicole Reed)

Quote #2

“The Universe doesn’t make mistakes. Everything is happening just as it should. It’s only our perception of difficulties that causes us the distress and the difficulty we experience. Not only that, but when we label events as ‘bad’, we fail to perceive the benefit that is waiting for us.” (Chris Prentiss)

Quote #3

“Every moment of your life and everything happening around you is the result of some past karma.” (Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar)

Bonus Quote

“Life has a way of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen at once.” (Paulo Coelho)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Daily Reflection

“Someday, everything will make perfect sense. So, for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, be strong and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.” (John Mayer)

I often find myself wishing I could go back in time to “do things” all over again in a different way. I’m definitely one who has played those head games quite a bit with myself asking “What if I had done ‘that’ in ‘this’ way instead?” Yes, I’m absolutely guilty of regularly wishing I could go back to my childhood knowing what I know now, so that maybe I could do things better. But, what if everything truly did happen as it was meant to? What if even I could go back in time and choose different paths, that I still ended up here at the very same point I am now, with the very same lessons learned? Maybe all the lessons I was meant to learn in this life were unavoidable no matter what I did?

I’ve watched plenty of time travel movies that have shown various points of views of people who pursued different paths than the ones they originally chose once they went back in time. What’s ironic about all of them is that life still got out of control at some point and sometimes even worse than before, until the same lessons got learned. The message was always the same in all those movies, that things were meant to happen as they did, that everything happens for a reason.

I know! That is such a hard concept to swallow!!!

I think about my life of addiction, my parent’s tragic deaths, my countless failed relationships, my failed business that led to so much financial loss, my many health issues, and well basically one poor choice after another, where each led to nothing but one more bout of pain and suffering after another.

Could I have lived a life without addiction? Could my father’s suicide and my mother’s tragic drunken fall down the stairs been prevented? Could I have avoided all those miserable partnerships and pursued the healthier ones I kept avoiding? Could I have skirted financial disaster by never buying the bed and breakfast I did? And the biggest question I face almost constantly these days…Could my present health issues that I’ve battled for 10 years now been totally prevented?

When I meditate on this, my Spirit says no. Because maybe if I didn’t pick up alcohol and drugs, I would have still succumbed to some other addiction. Maybe if I had been there more for my father or mother in their final weeks, it only would have bought them a few more? Maybe if I had avoided those painful relationships, I only would have fallen into other painful ones instead? Maybe if I had told my ex-partner that I didn’t want to do his Bed and Breakfast dream, I only would have invested in some other financial disaster instead? And maybe, just maybe, all this dam pain I continue to face in my body, would still have happened, no matter what I did, because it like everything else had to happen for me to learn what I have and to become that what I’ve become thus far.

I’m a better person because today because of all of these things from my past. I’m more capable and desiring to help others from a place of selflessness now, more unconditionally loving to the masses, and more compassionate and kinder to all, all because of the difficult past I’ve experienced. While my ego has often tried to convince me that it could have handled things differently and made my life far easier to become those things, the irony is that it was my ego that led me down all those crazy paths in the first place.

So, maybe, just maybe, everything really does happen as it’s meant to, that no matter what paths we take in life, that we are always going to be led to learn the same lessons we were always meant to learn? And maybe, if we all could just get out of our egos for a mere minute or two, we might just be able to see how amazing we all are right here, right now, all because of having gone through all that we did.

Dear God, help me to lovingly reflect upon my past, but never fall prey to the illusion that I could have done things better. Help me accept that everything truly happens as it’s meant to for me to become that which You always planned for me to become…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson