Silly Joke #1 (3 quick ones!)
Judge: Silence in court! The next person who laughs again will be thrown out of court.
Judge: I wasn’t talking to you!
A truck loaded with Vick’s Vapor Rub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours!
The CEO of IKEA was just elected president in Sweden. He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.
Silly Joke #2
At a meeting, the Boss told a joke.
Everyone on the team laughed except one guy.
The Boss asked him, ‘Didn’t you understand my joke?’
The guy replied, ‘Oh I understood it, but I resigned this morning.’
Silly Joke #3
Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alain for companionship. One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?” The Fairy Godmother replied “Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you 3 wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?” Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish “I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension.” Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Alain, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear. Cinderella said “Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother”. The Fairy Godmother replied “It is the least I can do. What does your heart wish for your second wish?” Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said “I wish I was young and full of the beauty of youth again”. At once, her wish having been desired, became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage had returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years and long forgotten vigor and vitality began to course through her very soul. Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke “You have one more wish, what shall you have?” Cinderella looked over to the frightened cat in the corner and said “I wish you to transform Alain my old cat into a beautiful and handsome young man”. Magically, Alain suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up, that when complete he stood before her, a boy, so beautiful the like of which she nor the world had ever seen, so fair indeed that birds begun to fall from the sky at his feet. The Fairy Godmother again spoke “Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life.” And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone. For a few eerie moments, Alain and Cinderella looked into each other’s eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect boy she had ever seen. Then Alain walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms. He then said, “Why, oh why Cinderella, did you have to neuter me!!!”
Bonus Silly Joke (2 blond ones!)
A week after her marriage, a gorgeous blond paid a visit to her doctor.
“I can’t figure it out doc, and I’m really worried,” said the blond.” My husband’s testicles are turning blue.” “That’s pretty unusual,” said the doctor. “Are you using the diaphragm that I prescribed?” “Yes, I am,” she replied.” And what kind of jelly are you using with it?” “Grape.”
Jenny, a beautiful blond decided to finally check out a church for the first time. After arriving, the church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles.There was silence in the entire sanctuary until Jenny’s voice was suddenly heard, loudly singing: “Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you…”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson