Ellen Page To Elliot Page, A Transgendered Journey That Helped Me To Spiritually Grow…

Over the past decade or so, I came to really appreciate the acting career of Ellen Page in just about everything I saw her in. Her roles in Juno, Whip It, and Inception were astounding on every level. Most recently, I became an avid fan of her role in Umbrella Academy on Netflix, with her playing a superhero of sorts by the name of Vanya Hargreaves. Then quite abruptly, the entertainment news suddenly reported that she was no longer Ellen Page, and was now Elliot Page. I was shocked given how long I had followed his career as a woman and struggled to understand how one makes a choice like that to change their sex. But, then I thought about it and asked myself, what if the decision for a person to be transgender was not a choice at all and was no different than me coming to accept the sexuality I was born with?

I know there are many out there who have thought my sexuality has been a choice all this time, all starting back with a mother who thought she did something wrong and assumed it was a choice I was making to be the way I was. While she never did come to acceptance and unconditionally love me for who I always was, as a number of others along the way in my life never have either, I came to realize many years ago that I was born the way I was and didn’t need to make anyone else understand. I came to see that my being attracted to the same-sex as I isn’t and never was a choice, it’s who I was from the beginning, and instead I made a choice for the longest time to be something I wasn’t by trying to play heterosexual in a world where male and female copulation was the norm.

Thinking about my own journey to acceptance of my sexuality has helped me to fully appreciate the journey that Elliot Page has been on to now. While it was quite shocking to see his shirtless chiseled picture in the news, I must say I applaud his finally being at peace with himself, enough so to share a picture of him like that with the world. I’ve read a little about his arduous journey to get to this place and how difficult it was to remain female for as long as he did. I can relate, as I never had peace dating any of the woman I dated over the years and felt exceptionally guilty forcing myself to be sexual with the woman I did. It wasn’t fair to them or me, as I solely did it for the appeasement of everyone else, to be accepted in this world, rather than get rejected.

Nevertheless, while I myself am extremely happy with the sex I was born with and can never see myself as anything but male, I actually appreciate Ellen Page’s transition to Elliot Page a lot more now than I probably would have years ago, as I used to judge transgendered people thinking it was just a psychological issue within them. I’m sorry I spent the years I did feeling that way and actually now have immense gratitude for those who finally find the peace they’ve sought for years after adjusting to the sex they feel they were always meant to be, but weren’t assigned at birth.

So, the bottom line I have now surrounding transgender individuals is that I don’t have to ever understand anyone’s decision who goes through gender reassignment. All I need to do is simply unconditionally love and accept them as being exactly who they are meant to be in this life, no different than I’m exactly who I’m meant to be as well. Thank you, Elliot Page, for your braveness to finally become who you always were meant to be and for all other transgender individuals in this world as well. We are all children of God, worthy and deserving of God’s unconditional love and acceptance. Never let anyone tell you otherwise…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question For The Day

Today’s question is…

What is the first thing that comes to mind that you do every, single, day, that you probably will never give up?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson


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Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, a day for gratitude, which for today is for the Monday night SLAA meeting that one of my sponsees and I started four years ago now and continues to be strongly supported and for my ongoing recovery in this 12 Step program.

SLAA is a 12 Step program for sex and love addiction for those who are unaware of what the acronym stands for. It’s a program that originated back in 1976 in Boston, Massachusetts. The founder of SLAA was a guy by the name of Rich, who was a recovering alcoholic that struggled with infidelity issues and romantic obsessions. My story is somewhat similar to his in that I had many years of sobriety with alcohol and drugs and a good place in recovery with it all but continued to deal with issues surrounding love addictions with unhealthy individuals, mostly married or unavailable. I also regularly used the Internet for sexual arousal, mostly to cope with all the loneliness I always felt late at night. When I discovered SLAA in 2011, I really connected with the program and began my first true year of sobriety on April 23rd, 2012. Unfortunately, when I moved to Toledo in 2014, there weren’t any SLAA meetings within an hour drive, so I went to an SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) meeting here in the area instead. While it helped, it didn’t feel quite right given the main part of my addiction was always romantic obsession. Thankfully, when one of my SAA sponsees asked me if I’d like to start an SLAA meeting in the area with her instead of attending SAA, I was ecstatic and said absolutely! We officially began SLAA Toledo in April of 2017 and have been going strong with it ever since. We regularly meet now on Monday nights from 7pm to 8pm here in Toledo and are presently doing a hybrid meeting where some of the attendee’s video in, while the rest are in a conference room with them on a screen overhead.

It’s truly been a blessing having an SLAA meeting here in Toledo all these years. Not only has it led to me sponsoring a number of individuals through the SLAA program, it’s also become a safe home for others who too once felt just like me, that all the other 12 Step recovery meetings just didn’t fit for them for what they were dealing with in the addiction realm.

My SLAA home group always uplifts me each week. Plenty of times there I’ve witnessed a number of attendees truly opening up and shedding tears, which I really believe says something about how healthy our meeting is. I think when people truly feel safe in a 12 Step meeting, it’s natural for people to open up and sharing from the heart where tears get shed.

Nevertheless, I’m thankful to have recently celebrated nine years of sobriety from my old sex and love addiction behaviors. I’ve been monogamous with my partner these past nine years, have steered clear of all unhealthy old sexual behaviors on the Internet, and haven’t found myself getting entangled into any romantic obsessions either. Much of this is owed to my SLAA home group, where I continue to find a safe haven to open up about a part of my addiction life that once almost destroyed me.

I’m thankful for SLAA, for my SLAA home group, and for my nine years of recovery. I’m a better person today because of it all. Thank You God.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson