Silly Joke #1
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers in his private room alone with them. “So,” he said, “I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe.” Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. “You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000.” The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon. “Now then, I’m returning $5,000, and we’re going to decide this case solely on its merits!”
Silly Joke #2
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel manager’s office. “What is the meaning of this?” the manager asked. “When you applied for the job, you told us you had 5 years’ experience. Now we discovered that this is the first job you’ve ever had.” “Well,” the young man said, “in your ad you did say you wanted somebody with imagination right?!”
Silly Joke #3
A young mother finds out she is pregnant again, and she tells the good news to anyone who will listen. One day when the woman and the boy are out shopping, a friend of the mother asks the little boy if he was excited about his Mommy’s new baby. “Oh, yes!” the little tyke says. Having overheard some of his parents’ private conversations, he adds, “And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it’s a girl we’re going to call it Mary, and if it’s another boy we’re going to call it Quits!”
Bonus Silly Joke
Two elderly folks in a nursing home wanted to get married. Their doctor on staff took each one into his office separately one day to try and talk them out of it. He called in the woman and told her that the man had already suffered two heart attacks. She told the doctor that she didn’t care. The doctor called in the man and told him the woman was suffering from acute angina. “I know!” he said. “I peeked.”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
