Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers in his private room alone with them. “So,” he said, “I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe.” Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. “You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000.” The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon. “Now then, I’m returning $5,000, and we’re going to decide this case solely on its merits!”

Silly Joke #2

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel manager’s office. “What is the meaning of this?” the manager asked. “When you applied for the job, you told us you had 5 years’ experience. Now we discovered that this is the first job you’ve ever had.” “Well,” the young man said, “in your ad you did say you wanted somebody with imagination right?!” 

Silly Joke #3

A young mother finds out she is pregnant again, and she tells the good news to anyone who will listen. One day when the woman and the boy are out shopping, a friend of the mother asks the little boy if he was excited about his Mommy’s new baby. “Oh, yes!” the little tyke says. Having overheard some of his parents’ private conversations, he adds, “And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it’s a girl we’re going to call it Mary, and if it’s another boy we’re going to call it Quits!”

Bonus Silly Joke

Two elderly folks in a nursing home wanted to get married. Their doctor on staff took each one into his office separately one day to try and talk them out of it. He called in the woman and told her that the man had already suffered two heart attacks. She told the doctor that she didn’t care. The doctor called in the man and told him the woman was suffering from acute angina. “I know!” he said. “I peeked.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question For The Day

Today’s question is…

You win a global contest. The prize is a salary of $1 million/year for life. The catch is you can only receive so long as you work 40 hours/week at any public business of your choosing. Where do you choose to work?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson


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“We Are Closed Today Due To Staffing Shortages…”

How many times I’ve seen those signs on business doors in recent months that say, “We are closed today due to staffing shortages…” is countless by this point. Personally, I’ve noticed it the most with the place I frequent the most in life, that being Starbucks. Many of them have been closed early for the day, been drive-thru only, or didn’t open for the day at all. People seem to be talking a lot about this lately, most of which wonder why these staffing shortages exist in the first place and where all the workers have gone. While I don’t exactly have an answer for that, I can at least speak for myself since I am presently not holding a paying job.

There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t wish I could be out there holding a paying job. Unfortunately, my health has gotten to the point now where I am struggling just to take care of my own basic needs on many-a-days. When people have seen me outside doing yard work and have questioned why I can’t hold a job, what they don’t see is me curled up after that outdoor work, lying on my bed, massager in hand, heating pad below me, crying in frustration. Sometimes I’m good for an hour or two with what physical labor I do and sometimes I don’t have any energy at all to do any of it. The same goes for any mental labor as well, including even writing for this blog. I’ve frequently tried to push myself beyond my limits, but the rebound effect on my mind and body is one that tends to set me back for many days afterwards, which is why I try to not push myself much anymore.

Many have asked me what I’d like to do if my health wasn’t so delimiting. If my life wasn’t so limited, the answer is simple. I’d like to start out back in the workforce by being a part-time barista at Starbucks. When my health wasn’t so limiting and painful, I was very much the people person. I used to like to talk to strangers a lot. I also liked to interact, smile, and do my part to help anyone who came into my life, if even for just a moment for them to feel better. In regards to working at a Starbucks, that can translate to simply remembering someone’s name and their drink order, as many baristas do with me when I’m at several of the local locations.

Personally, I think I’d make a good barista and even spoke to several managers at a few Starbucks locations, wondering if maybe I could somehow do the job even in my current state of health. But I learned the work their employees do is actually quite taxing at times, some of which would extend far beyond my present limits of what I can handle. Truth be told, I wish I could just get a job there sitting on a stool behind the order register, cheerfully greeting each customer, taking their drink order with a smile. That I know I could do well right now. But standing on my feet for at least four hours at a time is definitely not something I could do presently.

So, I keep praying that God will improve my health enough for me to do a part-time job as a barista one day. Sadly, all those prayers of restoration continue to remain thwarted though. What remains is simply a hope that one day I will return to the workforce, where this time around it will be more about me being there for others, rather than myself, where the pay isn’t what matters, and what does matter is being of service to others, something I thankfully am still doing with my 12 Step recovery work.

Regardless, I’d really like to make all these nationwide staffing shortages be at least one individual less one day soon by hopefully re-emerging into the workforce again. I pray God will strengthen my frail and ailing body enough to do so, but until then, I continue to dream every time I see those signs on all those business doors saying they are closed today due to staffing shortages.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson