I often feel like far too many people walk around claiming not to be insecure about anything in their lives. I tend to believe the reason for that is it makes them feel weak and vulnerable to the world around them if they openly admitted they had any insecurities. But truly, I think everyone, and yes, I do mean EVERYONE, has some sort of insecurity or insecurities in their lives. While some genuinely might be completely oblivious of them, I find most just do a pretty darn good job covering them up by always pointing out the insecurities in those around them, that they themselves battle within.
There are many insecurities I have seen in plenty of individuals over the years, mostly because I have dealt with the very same insecurities myself. Spending as much time as I have in so many different types of support groups, therapies, retreats, and the like over the years has totally helped me to “truly spot in others what I got”. Some of the top insecurities I’ve witnessed the most in this world deal with one’s appearance, finances, social standing and status in society, relationship status, sexuality, and health.
While most probably rarely consciously choose to ever talk openly about any of their insecurities with the world in general, such as on their social media, I decided to do that very thing today by sharing a list of my insecurities in this blog entry. Because I’m not perfect and I do have my own flaws and shortcomings, just as each of us do. We may do our best to tell the world we don’t have them, but deep down there’s always that part of us that knows otherwise. The more I’ve tried to deny this, the more I find myself living in ego, falling back into some sort of an addiction, and growing farther away from being the unconditionally loving being I want to be in this life.
So, am I doing this exercise for some sort of therapeutic reason? Partially. But ultimately, I’m doing this simply because I want to be more of an honest, vulnerable, and transparent individual in this world that people can relate to, because deep down we really all do have our set of insecurities. We just may not talk about them openly with each other. So here goes. This is the true fully transparent me…
- I am insecure about my lack of employment and income.
- I am insecure about my weight and my looks in general.
- I am insecure about ever saying or doing anything that might offend or hurt another.
- I am insecure about the many health issues I continue to endure with no end in sight.
- I am insecure about dying a nobody and being easily forgotten.
- I am insecure about being alone in this world.
- I am insecure about what my closest friends, family, and loved ones think about me.
- I am insecure about whether I’ll ever feel truly happy, joyful, and at peace in this life.
- I am insecure about ever following in my father’s footsteps who took his own life.
- I am insecure about ever expressing my sexuality openly.
- I am insecure about God’s existence and whether I’m even doing God’s will.
And I will end with this. There is one thing I am absolutely secure in and that is I always do my best everyday to be an unconditionally loving, caring, and kind individual, something that only came about by becoming as open and transparent as I’ve become in my life, insecurities and all…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson