Month: January 2022

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday where gratitude remains the sole focus in my writing, which for today is for the loving connection I have now with my sister Laura and her children and the recent trip I was blessed with to see them where they live in Summerville, South Carolina.

It doesn’t seem that long ago where addiction had totally compromised my life, which included my relationship with my sister and her kids. Truth be told, I wasn’t a good brother to her or a good uncle to her kids when addiction was in full control my life. I made many decisions that put them second when it did, often skipping out on get-togethers and times when she really needed help or my nephews just wanted to spend time with me, and usually was only there when I needed her for something. The fact is, when any addiction is in control of you, even the most loving family and relationships tend to come second to engaging in the substance of the addiction.

It’s been almost 10 years now since any major addiction enveloped me. Now, my twin nephews Noah and Jacob are soon to be 20 years old and their younger brother Luke, 10. The idea of spending an entire week with them and my sister years ago when I was consumed by addiction would have seemed preposterous to my ego. But today, being able to do so, has really become one of the major highlights of my life. And this trip to see them was no exception.

After dining in some pretty wonderful local restaurants (Poogan’s Southern Kitchen, Bad Daddy’s Burger Bar, and Fuji Sushi to name a few), binging an entire new riveting series on Netflix (Archive81), watching a really uplifting movie (Sing 2), playing several fun card and board games (hearts, card dump, spoons, and Space Jam Monopoly), going to the Charleston aquarium, sipping coffee in downtown Charleston on the 2^nd floor of an old bank that was converted into a Starbucks, having countless conversations that were both deep and funny, and getting to have some of my own personal time as well in the evening to relax in my Residence Inn suite where I meditated, reflected, worked out, talked to friends, and caught up on my own shows, I was blessed to have had such an amazing trip.

Many whom I’ve worked with in 12 Step recovery often worry they will never get something like this back. They fear it’s lost for good due to the pain their addiction inflicted upon others. I always tell them that the only thing they need to do is work the 12 Steps and find a Higher Power to guide them to becoming a more loving and selfless self. God truly has done that for me in my recovery from addiction and this January 2022 trip to see my sister and her family, where good times were intertwined with a depth of love I never once thought could ever happen again for me with them, proved that.

I am so thankful to God for making this trip possible, for the love Laura, Jacob, Luke, and Noah all have for me today, and another week’s worth of beautiful memories with them. And truly the perfect thing to dedicate today’s Grateful Heart Monday too…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to another entry in my Grateful Heart Monday series of my blog, TheTwelfthStep, where gratitude remains the sole focus on my writing at the start of each week, which for today is for continuing to write at least 10 things I’m grateful for each day in a private gratitude journal for almost 15 years now.

In 2007, when I initially began my path to recovery from addiction by going through the 12 Steps for the first time with a sponsor named Lorraine, I was told how ungrateful I was in my life with all that I had. I couldn’t see it at the time, nor could I fathom just how negative of a person I had become. Her first suggestion to change that was to begin maintaining a private gratitude journal for only my eyes to see that was dedicated to God for what I was grateful for at the end of each day. I began that in late 2007 by coming up with at least 5 things, that soon became 10 things, much of which has also become the inspiration for this Grateful Heart Monday series in my blog in recent years.

It’s easy NOT to have a grateful heart in this world with all the pain and suffering we seem to go through. It’s also easy to focus on all that we DON’T have rather than what we DO. I too fall into that sort of thinking from time to time, but can quickly remedy it at the end of every evening when I sit down and write out my list of 10 things I was grateful to God for that day.

Sometimes I struggle to come up with those things, typically on a day that’s riddled with chronic pain and mental and emotional frustration. But as soon as I quiet my mind and ego even a little, I always do find at least 10 things that I can be grateful for happening to me on any given day. For what initially began as a list of simple things like being grateful for the food, water, and shelter in my life, eventually became a long list of countless positive things that happened to me on each and every day.

Doing this exercise has truly shifted my mind incredibly, especially after writing out a list that’s well over 50,000 things to be grateful for throughout all these years. Because of this, I can easily identify now whenever I am falling back into a day of ungratefulness and know exactly how to start shifting myself away from that sort of thinking.

While this Grateful Heart Monday series is only written and shared with all of you once a week, practicing gratitude in my private journal happens every single day, year after year, and has done something to my heart that no other exercise has ever been successful in for me. I offer a sincere thanks to Lorraine, God rest her soul as she passed away long ago, for being that sponsor who once gave me such a good kick in the butt over my ungrateful heart, that it altered my spiritual path for the better ever since.

If you want to see a life that focuses more on gratitude rather than on all that’s wrong in this world, I encourage you at the end of each day to write out at least 5 good things that happened to you. Even if it starts out with you thanking God for the very breath you took that day, I promise you it will become something that will help you see the world far better than you ever have before, which is the very reason why I’m dedicating this ongoing private exercise for today’s Grateful Heart Monday.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to another chapter of Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude remains the sole focus in my writing for the day, which for today is for all the effort my best friend Cedric continues to put into maintaining our long-distance friendship, matching my own efforts, that has kept our connection close for well over 24 years now, and for two others who continue to do similarly, that being my dear friend Dexter, and my sister Laura.

Maintaining long-distance friendships is tough. At least in my case I’ve learned that keeping one in a close fashion takes a lot more than just talking on the phone from time to time. Countless friendships in my life have fallen to the wayside whenever I’ve moved away, usually due to the lack of effort put into keeping them going. Out of sight, out of mind, is often what I think happens in these cases. While a phone call here and there does tend to stir my heart when I talk to a long-distance friend I haven’t seen or spoken to in a good while, it’s never been enough to help keep that bond feeling close like it once was when I lived close by.

Cedric and I have come to understand this over the years. To keep our friendship close, we have regularly scheduled phone calls with each other, usually twice a week, and visits to each other as well, usually twice a year. Ad one thing Cedric and I both do when we aren’t feeling up for a call on one of our regularly scheduled times is we immediately reschedule a make-up time, typically the next day or so. And when it comes to visiting each other, we alternate going to each other’s homes every six months, spending a week each time, as that has always been enough refresh our close bond.

I’ve tried to maintain other long-distance friendships similarly, but except for my dear friend Dexter, and my sister Laura, none have really seemed interested in putting much work into it, which has led to infrequent conversations over the phone and me feeling a growing distance with most of them. The fact that Cedric and I have maintained the closeness we continue to share for as long as we have is simply because we keep putting forth the effort to keep it going.

Close friendships, like any type of relationship, take a lot of work, and ours has definitely required much of that, especially in light of some of the differences in religious beliefs he and I have now. Yet, we continue to love each other dearly, accepting each other unconditionally, knowing the true bond that keeps us going isn’t really in our efforts alone, it’s in our devotion to God. As it’s God who has helped us overcome each of those ego-struggles we’ve had from time to time over the years, pushing us to go deeper within, which in turn has led to far stronger bonds and increased efforts to keep our connection spiritually growing.

One thing I’ve been very grateful about Cedric’s efforts specifically is his willingness to come visit me, even when my pain levels have been severe, when I haven’t wanted to do much of anything. He would tell you that his purpose of coming to see me isn’t for what he’s going to do while on his vacation time, it’s simply to just be with me, even if it’s only to sit around and reconnect. That effort alone is priceless in my spiritual book and something I’m extremely grateful for.

I honestly wish I had other long-distance friendships beyond him, Dexter, and my sister, with others who would like to talk to me weekly and see me each year, but I’m grateful nonetheless for the efforts the three of them continue to do with me, to keep our connection close, especially in recent years, where I’ve very much struggled with my health and feeling alone. Each of gone above and beyond to maintain a close long-distance connection with me, and for that I’m truly grateful on this Grateful Heart Monday.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to this week’s Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude always gets expressed in my writing, which for today is for reaching another annual milestone of maintaining this blog, a feat that continues to surprise me every year it arrives again, and for all those who continue to read along my spiritual journey in life as well.

I began this blog in the 2^nd week of January in 2013 simply as a homework assignment to journal my life, past and present. I think the spiritual teacher who originally suggested I start a blog would be quite proud of me by now as I hit the ninth-year anniversary of keeping TheTwelfthStep going.

While there have been many moments I’ve considered shuttering this site and ending my writing due to having negative thoughts that maybe no one is reading my stuff anymore, I have occasionally received reminders that have helped me immensely to achieve yet another yearly milestone. I had one such reminder from a good friend in the DC area over the holidays who told me via a private message how much I’m doing a good service and how much of a good writer he felt I am. It truly was a blessing.

Ironically, this blog was never intended initially to help others, as it was more to help me get back into the habit of writing, something I had given up long before due to addiction. At first, maintaining this blog was easy, given the depth of material I had to write about from my life. But, over the years, after writing thousands of articles, and sharing countless unique quotes, questions, and even silly jokes, it’s become much harder to do so, as I’ve often felt repetitive. Yet, I’m reminded of something my spiritual teacher once told me after I began her assignment. She said there would always be someone new who would get something out of my writing, even if it was something I previously wrote about.

So, I trudge on, and will soon be approaching 3,300 published entries on this site, which if anything, truly is a major feat and something to be grateful for. Maintaining this blog for nine years shows I’m not a quitter, which is something my now deceased mother in her former state of alcoholism once accused me of from time to time.

While I may not be the most interesting writer in the world, or the least interesting, I have led a very interesting life and continue to do so, enough that I feel warrants me to keep writing and to keep being transparent with the world on TheTwelfthStep.

I’m filled with much gratitude today for sticking to this, for reaching nine years, for God helping me to find new and unique things to write about, and for all those who continue to support my writing by reading along with me, one day at a time. I love you all.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, where I always express my gratitude for someone or something that has truly touched my heart and soul, which for today is for all those who brought happiness into my life this holiday season.

For my partner, Chris Falbo, who made plenty of special meals, gave me loving gifts including a new suitcase to replace the one I’ve been using for well over two decades, and who kept a positive attitude through it all even when I wasn’t, I’m grateful.

For my sister, Laura Curry, who always seems to find those unique gifts that simply seem to say, “I love you so much”, including a Marvin the Martian figurine (my favorite cartoon character) and a coffee mug whose picture on it summed up our friendship perfectly, I’m grateful.

For my closest friend in the world, Cedric Saunders, who came to visit me during the holiday season for a week, providing me many fond memories during our visit to Chicago and just sitting around and making each other laugh like we always seem to do together, I’m grateful.

For my dear friend, Dexter, for being there when I really needed some reassuring words, even in the wee hours of the morning, for understanding my pain, and getting me more than most people, and for continuing to refer to me as Boo Boo, while I with him as Yogi, I’m grateful.

For my therapist, Linda Smith, who helped me through all my pain and sorrow felt during this holiday season, always finding ways to lift me up when I’m down, and for being the unconditional loving person she is, I’m grateful.

For my friend, Michael Erskine, who thought of me with a special Carruth pottery gift and who spent much of this holiday season connecting with me in person over meals and movies, on video calls, and in funny texts and messages, I’m grateful.

For my friend, Judy Gordon, who took me to J’Alexanders for a wonderful meal, and continues to share with me on an intimate level I can really relate to, I’m grateful.

For my friend, Jewel Patterson, for spending a wonderful holiday meal at Real Seafood, sharing in laughter with both my partner and best friend, breaking bread, and giving me gift cards to one of my favorite hobbies (going to the movies), I’m grateful!

For my friend, Frank Murd, for sharing several holiday meals with me, including breaking bread on Christmas Day at the Motor City Casino Assembly Line Buffet, I’m grateful.

For my friend, Tom Benner, for being willing to work through a tough piece with me, for showing me the willingness to always keep trying, and for continuing to share your heart with me on a level I know you normally don’t with others, I’m grateful.

For my friend, Allen Collette, for sharing several coffees and meals with me during this holiday season, finding caring words to brighten it a little for me, and for simply being a good friend when I needed one, I’m grateful.

For my friend, Jym Shipman, for watching the Locke and Key series on Netflix at your house, for always making me burst out in laughter over his imitation of this kid on that show, and for his loyal dog, Jeepster, who always me smile over his vigor even during his final days, I’m grateful.

For my friends, Merle Peoples and Manny Portugal, for inviting me to their annual holiday gatherings, reminding me that I am remembered when it comes to that holiday party season, I’m grateful.

For my friend, Mark Heckman, for being his plus one at his dear friend’s wedding that took place during this holiday season, where I danced for the first time in years, something I never thought I’d do again, I’m grateful.

For my friends, Tim Wojtala and Roger Van Dylan, who broke bread with us at The Townhouse Restaurant in Detroit, where we laughed over the freezing wind hitting our table, one that got us a free amazing dessert that we all shared together, and for Euchre we played afterward and all the laughter as well, I’m grateful.

For my friend, Ronn Musser, for checking in on me from time to time, for providing reassuring words when I’ve been down, and the movies and meals we enjoyed together too, I’m grateful.

For my new friend, Mike Palumbo, whom I only recently met at one of those holiday gatherings, for being a very interesting person on many levels, for challenging my thinking and making me laugh at times as well, I’m grateful.

And for everyone else, who called, texted, and left me personal messages on Facebook, wishing me a Merry Christmas or Happy Holiday, I’m grateful.

I love you all. Thank you for helping me through the most difficult holiday season I’ve ever had. I’m truly grateful for all of you on this Grateful Heart Monday.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson