Silly Joke #1
About an hour before her favorite breakfast place was about to close, a beautiful blonde heads to it and after arriving takes a seat and orders her usual, the breakfast special, but instead of getting the coffee that comes with it, she decides she wants orange juice today. After she’s served it, she quickly devours the meal but doesn’t touch the carton of orange juice. The waiter checks in from time to time and ask if she needs anything, and she ignores him each time. Assuming she was just a rude person, he eventually returns when they are getting ready to close. She’s the last one in the place. “Ma’am, I’m not sure if you knew we are going to be closing in a few minutes?” “I can’t leave just yet!”, she responds without even looking at him. “And why not?” questions the waiter. “Because this annoying carton of orange juice you gave me said to concentrate!”
Silly Joke #2
What’s are a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist completely opposite?
A rock guitarist plays 4 notes in front of a 1000 people, while a jazz guitarist plays 1000 notes in front of 4 people.
Silly Joke #3 (2 Little Johnny Jokes)
Little Johnny was on the subway with his mother. He noticed a man next to them had an open book in his hands and was crying, as the man’s eyes looked down at the pages. Little Johnny looked over at him and said, “It’s ok sir, I don’t know how to read yet either…”
Teacher (to the class): What are you grateful for?
Megan (raising her hand first): I’m grateful for the big man upstairs.
Little Johnny (blurting out): Not me, the big man upstairs always drives me nuts! He practices river dancing every night for a freaking hour!!!
Bonus Silly Joke (Adult Humor)
A grandson was soon to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sex. His grandfather tells him, “When I first got married, I wanted it all the time, maybe several times a day. Later on, it maybe was once a week. But, as I got older, it was maybe once a month. And by the time I reached 70, I was lucky to have it once a year.” His grandson then asked, “And how about now with you and Grandma?” His grandfather replies, “Oh, we have oral sex regularly now. She goes into her bedroom and I go into the guest room. She yells, ‘F**k you,’ and I holler back, ‘F**k you, too!'”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
