How well do you really know those whom are closest to you? Whether it’s someone you’ve considered to be one of your best friends for a long time, someone you’ve been dating for quite awhile, or someone you’ve been married to for years, are you honestly able to say you know a lot about them? Sadly, many of you probably don’t even though you might think you do.
I used to like watching The Newlywed Game on television when I was growing up because it was always apparent when a husband didn’t really know his wife very well, or vice versa. On many of the cruises I’ve been on over the years, they’ve held a similar version to this game but the couples don’t have to be married. During many of those shows I’ve watched how many partners have gotten frustrated at their other halves for not knowing some of the most basic details about them. I’m quite sure that if best friends could take part in that very same type of show, the same principle would end up holding true. The reality is that too many of us don’t truly know much about those whom we spend a majority of our life with. So why is that?
Could the simple reason behind that question be that we are frequently more focused on our own selfish interests and agendas instead of really getting to know those closest to us?
For years I called many individuals my best friends and I rarely knew anything about them at all. With some, I was only concerned about my sexual interests in them. With others, I was only interested in some gift or talent they could offer me that I didn’t have to offer myself. In either case, the bottom line is that I was mostly focused on what I could get out of them instead of fully getting to know them. It’s sad to say but that’s also true with all the people I dated or became partners with in the past as well. My life was often so selfish that I missed out on great opportunities to really get to know those whom I was spending the majority of my time with.
Thankfully, I am a much better listener today and spend a lot more of my moments getting to know those whom are closest to me. I do believe I know my best friends and my current partner a lot better now as compared to those who used to be a close part of my life. What’s changed is that I’m not so self-absorbed anymore. I don’t have hidden agendas. And I very much care about those I spend time with. What that means is that I do my best these days to get to know each of the people in my life on a much deeper level and I have to thank my Higher Power for getting me to this point.
I decided to end this entry with a set of 20 questions from various sources online that are just some of the basic information we realistically should know about those whom are closest to us. I hope each of you will take the time to answer them with those whom you are spending a good portion of your life with. If you find you can’t answer the majority of them, are your needs, wants, and desires taking a higher priority over getting to know those you say you love? A good remedy to changing this is to start listening a lot more to those people and you could start now by getting them to answer these questions…
1. What is their favorite ice cream flavor?
2. What is their biggest pet peeve?
3. What is their most favorite thing to do for fun?
4. What is their favorite color?
5. What is their dream job?
6. What is their dream vacation?
7. What is their favorite movie of all time?
8. What is their favorite book of all time?
9. What is their favorite hobby?
10. What is their favorite type of food?
11. What is their favorite meal?
12. What is their favorite restaurant?
13. What is their favorite television show of all time?
14. What is their favorite store to go shopping at?
15. What is their biggest challenge they face in life?
16. What is the most difficult thing they’ve ever had to go through in life so far?
17. What is their least favorite thing they have to do in life?
18. What is their main goal in life?
19. What is their Higher Power?
20. What time of the year do they enjoy the most?
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson