I have struggled throughout my entire adult life with control issues, but I continue to do my best in letting them go by drawing closer to my Higher Power. I’ve gotten much better with it in most areas of my life these days, yet there’s still one that challenges me the greatest and that’s when I have to face someone else’s control issues.
Quite often, when anyone is in that type of situation where someone else is being controlling, it can frequently drive him or her to try taking some of that control back. For a person like me who has battled control issues within for a very long time, this definitely becomes the case when a situation like this happens. I’ve realized though there is a way to overcome this. Unfortunately, it has been rather difficult to implement because it involves me allowing other people to keep their control and to not battle them for it. The reality is that’s what generally happens when two controlling people get in the same room, they go to battle over control of something and rarely do either ever back down. I’ve been trying a new path lately though and it’s one that doesn’t involve me going to that battle anymore. Instead, I’ve been forcing myself to sit in those uncomfortable feelings when someone else around me is controlling how everything has to be.
I had some good success with this on my recent trip to see my sister’s family. Normally, my visits to them never go that well because I regularly go to battle for control with her husband over way too many things. The two of us are truly mirrors for each other, except I’m not sure if he has been able to fully recognize that yet. Thankfully I have so I decided to see what it would be like on this visit by allowing him to maintain control for the entire time I was there. The biggest test I faced with it cane after I had purchased a birthday gift for one of my nephews.
The gift was a beginner’s metal detector that worked just like the ones a person might see being used on a beach. As my nephew spent the early evening going around his backyard looking for buried treasure with it, I silently watched as my sister’s husband made one rule after another with it until he had no place left to use the gift at all. Seeing the look of dismay and sadness on my nephews face was incredibly hard to deal with and I greatly wanted to take over control because of it. I didn’t though and that allowed me to see something I know I wasn’t able to see not too long ago. I saw quite clearly a situation that my own control has probably created time and time again throughout my life. And seeing it made me want to let go of control all the more throughout my life.
I’m grateful to my Higher Power for helping me try something new this past weekend when visiting my sister’s family. Facing someone else’s control issues like my sister’s husband’s was extremely challenging. I realize now there is only one way to work through this when it happens next in my life. It will mean going against my ego’s desire to battle for control and to just sit back and be a silent observer instead. It may not be easy, but in doing so; I know I’ll continue to see many more examples of what my control issues probably did to others over the years. At least then, each of them will be a great motivator to continue my quest to turn over control in every area of my life to my Higher Power.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson