Have you ever had one of those days where things might have started off ok and then suddenly, one thing after another starts going haywire until you find yourself extremely flustered? For people like myself who are in recovery from former addictions, it is days like this that can put us in serious jeopardy with relapsing back into them.
Last week I actually had one of those types of days. While it began just fine, it didn’t stay that way as the day progressed. First my physical pains drastically increased in my body. Then my car developed a problem that the repair shop couldn’t seem to fix after repeated attempts and visits to them on the same day. And finally I was notified in e-mail that the tool I have been using to write this blog and all the archived articles are going to disappear by the end of June. By the time the evening came that day, I can honestly say I wasn’t having the best train of thoughts. In fact, I became the exact opposite of the positive energy I normally try to put forth each and every day. And this is the precise moment when a person in recovery like myself can succumb to the ego’s temptation to go back to an addiction for a little comfort.
Thankfully, my recovery is a lot stronger today to handle days such as this. My relationship with my Higher Power is also much closer and I know that helps me immensely when one thing after another seems to spiral out of control on a day like I had last week. Unfortunately I allowed myself to go a little too far into some dark thoughts that evening and it took prayer, meditation, and some help from my partner to pull me out of them.
I can see why a person might want to go back to their addiction when their day gets completely unraveled like mine did. Addictions are all about numbing oneself and what better way to do that by picking up a drink, a drug, or some other type of addiction. Sadly, the relief one gets from doing so is really just an illusion and only temporary. Those unfortunate situations that arose on that frustrating day all still need to be addressed, as they didn’t go away. What does go away though when a person heads down this path is their sobriety and recovery.
My sobriety and recovery today are the most important things I have in my entire life. Because of them I have that deeper connection to my Higher Power, I have friends, I have a partner, and I have a lot more happiness and joy within my life. Each of these things helped me not to relapse last week when I experienced that domino effect of a day. And I haven’t relapsed on any of the other ones that have happened in previous years either. No one says in recovery that life is always going to be filled with blue skies and sunny days. There may be plenty of them, but there also are going to be days when things might not flow so well. And it’s on those days when we must use the strength in our recovery to make it through them. I’m so thankful I did last week when I had one of those days and I ironically I felt a lot better physically the next day, the repair shop found and fixed the problem with my car, and I developed a plan of action to begin migrating my blog over to a new tool. I’m glad I didn’t relapse, as I know I wouldn’t have seen any of these things happen the next day if I had done so.
So if you are in recovery from an addiction and happen to being having “one of those days” like I had last week, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and realize that a relapse is gong to do nothing good for you in the long run. Utilize the tools in your recovery, seek your Higher Power through meditation and prayer, and know in doing so, you will be able to navigate through this day and any other one of them when they arise again…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson