I have been experiencing some summertime blues lately and I know it deals with the current state of my physical health. It’s been over four years now since I began this path of serious healing from all the damage I did from a life of addictions. Prior to that, I used to really love the summer, as it was the time I did many physical activities outdoors. Hiking, biking, long walks, tennis, golf, basketball, and going to amusement parks were only some of them. Sadly, my physical health hasn’t reached a state yet to do any of them. So as the summer of 2014 begins, I feel as if I’m still on the sidelines watching everyone else have fun. Ironically, there are three traits this is forcing me to learn in not only this situation, but in many others throughout my life as well.
Letting go, acceptance, and patience are those very traits and they’re probably the hardest ones I’ve struggled to learn throughout these past four years. I grew up in a dysfunctional family where none of these traits were demonstrated well at all. In fact it was just the opposite, as my parents taught me how to control things to get my way and be impatient until they got done. Until just a few years ago, that’s how I lived my life almost 100% of the time. Thankfully, I’ve made a lot of changes to counteract that and I’ve gotten much better. But there are still several areas of my life I’ve been resisting those changes, the largest of which deals with the current state of my physical health.
I have gone to great extremes over the past few years to accelerate my healing to the maximum possible speed. The person I am now is leaps and bounds so much healthier than who I was when I began this process because of it. Unfortunately, I’ve hit a wall though because I’ve done everything I can do to heal. My spiritual teacher continues to tell me that the rest is up to my Higher Power, time, and my body’s own healing processes. For a person who is so used to control and impatience, this hasn’t sat well within me and that’s precisely the reason why I’ve been feeling those summertime blues.
So as this summer begins, I realize there’s only one real solution to this. I just need to continue making the best of what I still have. In doing so, I’ll actually be practicing those three traits of letting go, acceptance, and patience on a daily basis.
I know there will come a day soon when I can return to more physical based activities. Whether that happens sometime during this summer or not, I’m going to do my absolute best to not let any summertime blues ruin it.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
