Have you ever lived with regret for an extended period of time over some decision you once made where it led you to experience great difficulties in life? I have with one in particular and lived with regret for years because of it until I realized just how much good actually came out of it.
The major regret I’m referring to began in March of 2003. My partner at the time had been unemployed and decided his next career move was to become an innkeeper at a bed and breakfast. After visiting several inns for sale with him, I realized I wasn’t interested at all in following his new business venture. Little did I know that the codependency I suffered from at the time would say otherwise? So when my partner told me that month he was going to run a B&B with or without me, I panicked and chose to follow his dream anyway. That decision would begin my rapid descent into financial despair where just two years later, my bank was notifying me that my partner had over drafted the business account by close to $1500. From that point forward, I would throw dollar after into that business hoping it would save not only it, but also the relationship. It saved neither and by the time January of 2010 arrived, I was signing a dotted line for a short sale that saw me walking away with only the shirt on my back. When all was said and done, the decision I had made against my better judgment in March of 2003 had led to my financial loss of more than $600,000 in cash.
For several years after that I harbored major regret over that decision. In fact, my brain became so occupied with the “what if’s” that I convinced myself my life would be far better if I had just said no to my partner when he first approached me about that new venture. Once I started drawing closer to my Higher Power though, I began seeing things from a much better perspective. I started understanding that nothing good was coming out of me carrying that regret or any regret for that matter. All it really was doing for me was causing me to harbor great anger and resentments. But through a tremendous amount of hard work and prayer, I began looking for all the positive things that came out of that decision instead of focusing on the negative. That’s when I discovered that:
…because of my B&B life, I had enough free time to learn how to do and teach meditation and numerology.
…because of my B&B life, I met a writer at a local newspaper there and was given a column to explore a talent I never even knew I had.
…because of my B&B life, I finally saw I needed to seriously work on my codependent ways.
….because of my B&B life, I learned that money couldn’t fix everything.
….because of that B&B life, I learned an incredible amount of humility.
I’m sure there are plenty of other positive things that came out of my decision to buy that bed and breakfast all those years ago. But as soon as I started focusing in on the positive versus the negative, the regret began leaving me for good.
I am fully convinced today that my path was always meant to own a B&B for that short period of time. The lessons I learned there were invaluable and I wouldn’t go back to redo any of it today even if I was given the chance. I am so grateful to say that I don’t live with regret anymore over it or anything else in life. But that’s only because I have clearly seen how my Higher Power has always done something good for me no matter how great of difficulties ever arose from the “bad” decisions I’ve made throughout life…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson