Looking At OCD As A Good Thing

I was diagnosed a long time ago with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), which is typically characterized with behaviors that are just that, obsessive and compulsive. For a very long time I looked at OCD as a totally bad thing because it was yet another medical illness that was placed upon me. But as I’ve grown more spiritual in my thoughts, words, and actions in recent years and did a lot of work around the totally unhealthy obsessive and compulsive behaviors, I’ve come to see that being OCD is actually not a bad thing at all.

For starters, I’ve already mention in a previous blog entry how I enjoy going out into my yard on most days and picking up any debris that’s there. Sometimes this takes hours out of my day and many would probably deem this behavior to be definitely OCD. Yet I find it spiritually healthy and healing for me to focus on that task and in the end I always feel much better when I’m done.

Another good example of this would be my attention for cleanliness around the house and with my car. I’m always making sure I keep both completely uncluttered and here too, this could be deemed to be an obsessive compulsive behavior. Yet every time I do this task, I never find myself getting sick, upset, or feeling worse after completion.

Lastly, I had a very recent example of how having OCD helped me immensely. It dealt with setting up a new HP printer and a new Apple computer. In both cases, I logged many hours in a row configuring and working out the kinks with each to get them both fully operational. I’m sure many would say that’s absolutely obsessive compulsive, but for me I felt pretty damn good after both were up and running.

The fact is, none of these examples have ever made me feel sick and unhealthy and ironically, I used to take some heavy medications to deal with my OCD. Today, I’m not taking any, as I’ve done a lot of work around identifying which obsessive compulsive behaviors are healthy and which ones are not. And the best way I’ve found how to do that is to see how I feel during and after some task I immersed myself in for a good number of consistent hours. Simply put, when I feel lousy, I take it that it’s not a healthy one for me to be doing, but when I feel great, I take it that it’s something that is healthy for me to keep doing.

The point I’m trying to make is that I believe OCD is one of those diagnosis that can be taken in many different ways. I spent many years believing it was a curse I inherited from my parent’s genes. But as I did a lot of therapy, recovery work, holistic healing, meditation and prayer, I’ve come to believe it’s not a bad thing at all to have.

I often think that if I didn’t have OCD, my yard would end up being a pile of debris, my house and car totally dirty, and equipment around my house would never function quite well. This is why I honestly feel it really just comes down to how I choose to look at a diagnosis, because in the end, isn’t a diagnosis just that, a diagnosis. It’s not who I am, it’s only how I choose to look at it…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

A Native American Cherokee Story Of Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.” 

“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

——————————————————————————————————————————————–

Taking a look back throughout my life, I can see how I often fed much of that evil wolf. In turn, I became quite dark and lived much of my life in darkness. I never felt all that good and those I surrounded myself with during all that time were a pack of many other dark wolves doing very much the same things I was.

But one day the darkness became so great within me, that I almost lost my life. I had fed that evil wolf for so long that I felt there wasn’t any reason left to live. Thankfully I was given another chance, which is when I began the long road back to feeding and becoming the good wolf again.

I see things pretty differently today because of it, and I feel I’m filled with a lot more light than dark these days, which I’m overly grateful for. So I’m truly thankful for this old Cherokee story that’s a great reminder that we really do become that which we feed ourselves.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Andy and The Zodiac Crystal – Chapter 25

Q: What did the basketball player wear a bib?
A: Because he dribbles a lot.

PDF Link to Chapters 1 to 24 – > Andy and The Zodiac Crystal (Chapters 1 to 24)

Andy and The Zodiac Crystal – Chapter 25

“Oh, she’s harmless dear. You know you’re the only goose for me!”

“Uh huh. You’ve probably said that to all the pretty geese Jules.”

I couldn’t believe it, I really was hearing these two geese talk to each other. As I continued to listen to them, I had to chuckle as they started squabbling exactly like my parents did sometimes.

“Andy, what’s so funny and what exactly are you looking at anyway?” My sister asked inquisitively.

“I’m looking at these two geese right here and listening to them talk to each other. Well they’re not really talking right now, they’re actually bickering about some goose named Maribel who’s flirting with this one here whose name is actually Jules.” I said pointing at the male goose in the water below me.

“Seriously? That’s what all those squawks and hisses are about?” said Chris.

“Yeah, I think Jules girlfriend is a little upset.”

Laura then got up and quickly came over to see for herself.

“Betsy, did you hear that kid?”

The two geese were now looking up at me.

“Yes, but how’s that possible? Normally they only sound like a bunch of creatures making strange, loud noises.”

“Hey, you can understand what I’m saying?” I suddenly said to the two of them.

“Jules, is he talking to us?”

“I think so dear. This is soooo weird.”

“Umm, he-llo there?” said Jules a little coy.

“Hi. My name’s Andy.” 

Chris and Laura were now looking at me with rather funny expressions.

“Why are you guys looking at me like that?” I said to them.

“Well we find it a little strange that we can understand you and vice versa.” Jules responded, obviously thinking I was talking to them.

“Hold on a sec, I’m actually not talking to you two.” I said politely to Betsy and Jules.

“Are you really speaking to those geese right now or are you just playing with us?” said my sister with a grin.

“I think Andy’s talking to that girl next to him Jules, not us.” Betsy said looking over at Jules.

“No, I’m not pulling your chain. I actually can understand these two geese. That one there is Betsy, and that one there is Jules.” I said pointing to each of them.

“So how is it we’re able to understand each other Andy?” said Jules vying for my attention.

“It’s kind of hard to explain, let’s just say I have some abilities that other human beings don’t. Hey, and by the way, I’ve always wanted to know, why do you guys always hiss at us when we try to come near any of you?”

I knew it was kind of odd to ask such a question but it really was something I’ve always wanted to know.

“Well, let’s see, you either are trying to hit us with your loud machines, or shoot us down with those weapons, or if by some chance you get close enough to any of us, none of you ever seem to be gentle with our feathers! And I take great care to look this darn good don’t I dear!” Betsy said quite adamantly.

“You definitely do dear, you definitely do.”

“Uh huh, I’m sure you’re thinking about Maribel right now, that little floozy.”

“What’s a floozy?” I asked aloud while Chris and Laura kept prodding me to know the answer to my last question about why geese run away from us all the time.

“A floozy is someone who sleeps around.” My sister answered quickly. “And why would you want to know such a thing anyway?”

“Well, they’re starting to bicker again about this Maribel who I guess is someone that Betsy thinks sleeps around. But I honestly think she’s just being a little jealous.”

“I totally agree Andy!” said Jules.

“I’m not jealous! And you stay out of this Andy! This is between Jules and I. You shouldn’t even be able to understand us anyway! Come on Jules, let’s swim to the other side of the lake where we can have a little more privacy.”

“But wait, don’t you want to know more about why we can understand him?”

“No, and stop trying to change the subject. I’m not done talking about Maribel because I see the way you look at her. Is there something going on between the two of you?”

“Ugh.” Jules groaned and with that the two swam away.

“So what happened?” said Chris. “What was the answer to your question?”

“Yeah, and how do they sound when they talk?” Laura said excitedly.

“They sound just like us and they really don’t like humans because we run over them on the road, we hunt them down in the air, and we’re never gentle with their feathers, as I guess they are pretty particular about that.”

“That’s what all that squawking was about?” Chris asked.

“Well that was part of it, but it all started with that whole thing about Maribel making Betsy jealous. I guess Maribel was overly flirting with Jules earlier today and has been for a while now.”

“Man, it sounds just like what real people go through sometimes.” Laura said with a big smile.

“Yeah, totally. You know, I have to say I like this ability the best so far. I think it’s going to come in handy for a lot of reasons, like when an animal is not feeling well. I’ll be able to totally figure out what its symptoms are!” I said fondly remembering Dr. Doolittle having the same ability in the movies.

“Sounds like one of many possibilities. So maybe we should go find some other animals to talk to and explore this ability a little more don’t you think?” said Chris.

“Is that you way of saying we’re going to go do some more training?” I said chuckling.

Chris grinned and with that, Laura ran back inside to let everyone know we were going to go for a walk. A few minutes later we were heading down the street we came in on, passing by other lake front homes one by one.

“Can you imagine living here year round? How cool would that be?” I said, as I imagined myself sitting in a hot tub night after night, soaking up the stars.

“I’m sure you’d get bored after awhile…” said Chris.

“You think?”

“I’m with Andy, I like it up here.” said Laura.

“Many things seem great at first, but after having it consistently, it’s common to want something more.” 

“Wow, you sound so wise. Way beyond your years.” Laura said with a little awe, but also with a little sarcasm to her voice.

“That’s why the Council chose me to be the Guardian.” 

“Don’t let it go to your big head Chrissy!” I said with a smirk.

“Whatever Andrina!” Chris playfully said in return.

“Hey, how about those two dogs over there? Can you hear what they’re saying?” Laura said pointing at two German Shepherds in front of a home that looked like a mini White House.

“I don’t know, hold on a minute.”

I then walked up close enough to see if they were saying anything to each other.

“Joe, I don’t know what to do. I can’t take getting kicked anymore. I hurt all over.”

“Me neither, maybe we should run away Paul.”

“Yeah, but where would we go Joe? We’re too old now and if we end up at the pound, we’re probably going to die there.”

“I just don’t understand why we’re always getting so abused. We never do anything to deserve this kind of treatment…” 

I started to feel really sad and wished I hadn’t heard what they were saying.

“What’s wrong Andy?” Laura asked, obviously noticing I was getting upset.

“We have to do something as these two German Shepherds are being physically abused by their owner! In fact, I’m going to do something about this right now!” 

And with that I angrily headed to the front door of their house…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson