Month: August 2020

Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to another week’s entry of Grateful Heart Monday, a time for gratitude, something I truly believe this world needs to focus a lot more on right now, rather than on what needs to change in the world to make their lives better. Because frankly, what I’ve learned is the only thing that needs to change for me to live in peace and harmony in this world is me and my attitudes. That’s why for today, I want to talk about something I can’t believe I’m going to say I’m grateful for. That being COVID-19.

Ok, ok, before you end up overreacting, asking yourself how anyone can be grateful for this pandemic, let me explain. The tragedy of this pandemic, the loss of life, and the utter disregard at times for human decency and respect towards each other that seems to be happening throughout these turbulent times is something I have great sadness over and something that makes it very hard to be grateful for anything right now. But, that’s precisely why I felt the need to go deeper and ask myself a really tough question. Is there anything ultimately good coming out of this pandemic, in my life, in those around me, and in the world in general?

Look, I know how easy it is to focus on all the things that feel so upside down in our world right now due to COVID-19. I could create a long list. Yet, at the same time, I find myself being far more compassionate and in touch with my heart lately. Something that tragedy (like from a pandemic) has always driven me to delve deeper into. My capacity for unconditional love seems to be growing a lot lately. And in a world that often feels loveless and needs more love, this pandemic feels like it’s been helping me to become someone who’s more heart connecting and unifying than I ever was before. Case in point, just last week I found myself talking to someone who was truly having a difficult day and feeling on edge. In the midst of them expressing their frustration, I could feel their sadness below it all. So, I reached into it, caressed it, and somehow found the words and tears needed to express just how much I truly loved them. It most definitely made a difference. Prior to this pandemic, I probably would have just offered unsolicited advice and opinions that did nothing but cause them greater frustration.

Another observation I’ve made during this pandemic that’s brought me a feeling of gratitude is more with those around me. Something I’ve seen quite a bit going on is the return to spending more time at home with family and loved ones. So often, we as human beings have kept ourselves so darn busy. We were always racing from here to there and missing out on precious moments of time with those we love. Having much of the things we normally would occupy life with be limited due to COVID-19 has led to far more family get-togethers, game nights, movie nights, bonfires, and other private times that in the past might not have happened at all or rarely happened due to so many other obligations. I actually have found great joy in driving around and seeing the many small circles of chairs at people’s homes sitting around fires and such, conversating, laughing, and connecting, something that felt grossly lacking prior to this pandemic. Many of those I know in recovery who have kids have spent a lot more time with them, which I know down the road will end up being priceless memories for all of them.

One last observation I’ve made during this pandemic that also brings me quite possibly the greatest sense of gratitude is more with the world in general than anything else. As the world sits and awaits a COVID-19 free existence, there has most definitely been a shift going on that’s exposing all the racism, prejudice, inequality, and dishonesty that’s been hidden under the radar for so long. Maybe we needed to have something like COVID-19 place it’s dark mark upon our world to force the truth out, a truth that has long been brushed under the carpet time and time again? The truth that many of us haven’t or didn’t want to see, that all haven’t been treated fair and equal, for a very long time, something ALL of us deserve, no matter what our sex, race, religion, sexuality, etc.

So, as I end today’s slice of gratitude from my life, I want you to know one last thing. I’m a firm believer that everything in the world that happens, COVID-19 and all, has a greater purpose, one our egos may never be able to understand. In the long run, maybe this pandemic is somehow shifting all of us from places of darkness and into places of greater light? And in light of me saying that, as COVID-19 continues to ravage our planet in so many difficult and challenging ways, I choose to remain grateful that we all will come out on top of this, with more open hearts, closer connections, and greater unconditional love for each other, no matter what walk of life we come from. And that alone is why I felt it necessary to dedicate today’s Grateful Heart Monday to COVID-19 of all things…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question For The Day

Today’s question is…

Did you ever ignore a warning/sign from your inner guidance and create more pain/hardship because of it? If so, explain.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step The Twelfth Step

What Can Happen When Our Ego’s Ignore Those Signs And Warnings From Our Higher Selves…

I tend to believe our Higher Selves, that Spirit within us, our intuition, or whatever you wish to refer to as that part of us that’s connected to a oneness with everyone and everything, occasionally provides us signs and warnings from time to time, so long as we allow ourselves to pay attention to them. But sadly, many of us far too often tend to ignore them and instead blast head first into some action that only ends up causing us great pain and hardship, like it did for me one evening just recently when I chose to ignore a number of them that came my way, one after another.

It all started with me having an off day where I felt somewhat angrily cocked inside during most of it, mainly towards my ongoing frustrations with God, my partner, and my health. But ultimately, I was really just feeling self-piteous about what I didn’t have, instead of focusing on some gratitude from what I did have. Because of it, I decided it’d be a great night to go out and blow off some steam by taking a drive in my little sports car I keep in storage more than not, that being my 1998 Acura Integra Type R. I rarely drive the thing and have kept it mostly as a reminder of a life I was once lived in almost total ego. The car itself honestly could be used on a set from one of those Fast and the Furious movies.

Nevertheless, I kept hearing this voice within me that night saying, “I don’t think it’s a good idea you take the car out tonight.” Yet, I rationalized over and over again telling myself that I just needed to clear my head a little and how taking that vehicle out for a night drive would be an absolute perfect remedy, especially since I hadn’t driven the thing in four months at that point, let alone even start it up.

So, just prior to me starting its engine, my phone rang. It was a good friend of mine, Jason, who wanted to talk about a big action he had just taken, one that was a huge leap for him in a very positive direction. At that moment, I heard that voice again tell me, “Why don’t you stay home and chat with your friend instead, as he probably needs a shoulder to lean on right now.” But, I chose to ignore it once more by quickly congratulating him on his accomplishment, and then saying I couldn’t talk because I needed my hands free for the drive I was about to take in my shift-based vehicle.

After I hung up, I started the car and immediately noticed my LED interior lights weren’t working. Yes, I actually have an LED interior light system, which admitting seems so very superficial to me right now! Regardless, I tried to find the source of the problem for a good fifteen minutes, further delaying my drive. That’s when I heard that voice yet again say, “Stay home! You’re not meant to go out tonight.” But, I kept right on ignoring it by leaving anyway and heading out onto the highway shortly thereafter, driving somewhat carelessly. Over and over and over again, I kept hearing that voice somewhere within me saying, “Just turn around and go home.” Looking back, I’m kicking myself now why I didn’t.

Simple answer.

Ego.

Twenty minutes later, I decided it’d be pretty cool to stop and get something to drink at a gas station just off an exit. I really didn’t need one, as I wasn’t that thirsty, but truth be told, I just wanted to stop in the hopes of garnering a little attention, especially when the Lamborghini-based doors open up on my car. Yes, I did say Lamborghini-based doors, which admitting, further makes me sound so very superficial.

Yup, more ego.

At that point, that voice within me was almost screaming to go home. That was my final warning that I recklessly chose to ignore, as I drove off the highway and into the nearest gas station. After satisfying my ego, I zoomed back into the ramp leading onto the highway. Not really paying attention as much as I should have been, suddenly, my left front tire hit the center median, causing my car to jackknife onto it, like I was a rollercoaster on a track. Sitting as low as it does, my vehicle became completely wrecked underneath as I tried to steer off of it without flipping. I jerked the wheel to the right, causing the left wheel’s rim to somehow essentially disintegrate, which then lurched my car straight across the road on nothing but metal, landing me half in the breakdown area on that entrance ramp.

It’s honestly a miracle my car didn’t flip, and even more so that there wasn’t a single car in sight on either the on ramp or the off ramp when any of this happened. Somehow, I think God had something to do with both, just as much as I think my Higher Self had given me ample signs and warnings that could have prevented the whole thing.

It was a hard lesson to learn, which probably will end up costing about $10k to repair when all is said and done. Thank goodness for insurance, but more so, thank goodness that I, nor anyone else, got hurt. Well, let me adjust that statement slightly. One thing actually did get hurt…or bruised shall I say.

My ego. 

Because, at the source of why any of us tend to avoid listening to those signs and warnings that occasionally come from our Higher Selves, our Spirit, our intuition, or from whatever connects us to a oneness with everyone and everything, is simply our egos. And it’s quite obvious I still have a lot of work to do around mine.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson