Silly Joke #1
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display. “Well, I have good news and bad news,” the owner responded. “The good news is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bought all 10 of your paintings!” “Well, that’s wonderful news!!!” the artist exclaimed. “So, what’s the bad news?” “Umm, well the gentleman was your doctor…”
Silly Joke #2
Arizona was having its worst heat wave in the state’s history. Jack decided one stifling afternoon to take a shower to cool down. “It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” complained Jack to his wife as he stepped out of it 10 minutes later. “Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this today?” “Probably that I married you for your money dear…”, she said with a sigh.
Silly Joke #3
A mother was trying very hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle for her four-year-old daughter’s meal. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her daughter to answer the phone. “It’s the minister of your family’s church, dear” the man said to the little girl on the other end. “Is your Mommy available?” “No, Mommy can’t come to the phone right now…” the daughter said. “Cuz, she’s hitting the bottle really hard right now…”
Bonus Silly Joke (For Adults Only)
A young teenage girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her very elderly Grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk outside. Well, who should be walking down the street in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl became frantic. Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, “What are you lining up here for dear?” Not wanting to upset her Grandma, the young girl said that the police were giving out free oranges today and that she was lining up for some.” Mmmm, sounds lovely,” said Grandma, “I think I’ll have some myself,” she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. When a police officer made his way down the line, he got to the Grandma at the end of it and was totally bewildered. “Forgive me Ma’am but, you’re so old, how do you do it?” Grandma replied,” Oh, it’s quite easy sonny, I just remove my dentures and suck ’em dry.”
Peace, love, light, and, joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
