Silly Joke #1
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning, The blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and yelled, “How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here!” and hung up immediately. The husband said, “Who the heck was that???” The wife said, “I don’t know, some woman asked if the coast was clear right when I picked up the phone!”
Silly Joke #2
A seriously drunk individual walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.” “You are a worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk you know that!” she screamed at him… “That’s funny,” he muttered, “because you even sound like her now too!”
Silly #3
An old man close to ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying. “Well,” says the old fellow, “I just got married to a beautiful 30-year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast and then we make love and I’m still able to do that even at my age!!! In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make love again!!! At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and we make love one final time!” The policeman looks at the old man and says, “With all that, why are you crying? You should be the happiest man in the world!” The old man responds, “I’m crying because I don’t remember where I live!”
Silly #4 (Adult Humor)
A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. He takes his shirt off and flexes his hugely muscular arms and says, “See that, baby? That’s 1000 pounds of dynamite!” She begins to get really excited. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder’s pose in his underwear, and says, “See these bulging thighs baby? That’s another 1000 pounds of dynamite!” She begins to long for some steamy action at this point. Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she quickly buttons herself back up, grabs her purse, and is heading towards the door. He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, “Why are you suddenly in such a hurry to go?” She replies, “With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a tiny fuse, well…I really thought you were going to explode before we even began…”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
