Month: October 2022

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

Little Johnny, who always says inappropriate things and is quite mischievous, walks into 5th grade class late one day. His teacher sternly says, “Johnny, take your seat and pay attention to me very clearly, please do not walk into my class late again.” The next day Little Johnny comes into class late again but this time is on all fours as he enters. The entire class is laughing at his antics as his teacher says, “Johnny, just what do you think you are doing and I thought I told you not to come into class late again?!” Little Johnny responded, “No, you told me I couldn’t WALK into class late again. Today, I’m CRAWLING into class late. See, I did pay attention to you clearly!”

Silly Joke #2

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, “Bring me my red shirt!” The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain’s red shirt, the captain put it on and led the crew to battle the pirate ship. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels about to attack. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever, bellowed, “Bring me my red shirt!” And once again the battle was on. This time, the Captain and his crew repelled both pirate ships, although this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day’s occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, “Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battles?” The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, “If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound, and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid.” The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed more pirate ships were approaching, 10 of them, all ready to attack. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, “Bring me my brown pants!”

Silly Joke #3

There was an old priest who was sick of all the people in his local parish that kept confessing adultery. One Sunday, from the pulpit, he said in a weak moment, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’m officially retiring!” Well, everyone liked him so much they all agreed together to keep him around by coming up with a code word that when someone had committed adultery, they would use the word “fallen.” This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest eventually died from old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, “You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. People keep coming to the confessional and talking about having fallen.” The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word that even he knew about. Everyone had just gotten used to using it for so long in a town where adultery seemed to happen a lot. But before the Mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the Mayor and said, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about! Your wife fell three times this week!”

Bonus Silly Joke (Adult Humor)

Two country bumpkins, Earl and Ray, were sitting at a very rural bar, lamenting their lack of a sex life. Earl looked out the window, and across the road sees a sheep has somehow gotten itself stuck half way through a fence, with its butt facing the tavern. He points it out to Ray and says, “I sure wish that sheep over there were the likes of Marilyn Monroe.” His friend replied, “I sure wish it were dark already Earl…”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question To Ponder For The Day

Today’s question is…

What is one aspect about yourself that you don’t like getting picked on by someone you’d call a good friend?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

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Friends Who Say, “I Only Pick On You Because I Like You” And “You Need To Develop A Thicker Skin”

Have you ever had a friend who seems to make fun of you all the time or much of the time you spend together, regardless of whether it’s just you and them, or the both of you with others present? If so, have you ever confronted them and asked why they pick on you so much? If you have asked that very question, was their answer ever something along the lines of, “I only pick on you because I like you?”

Let me be very clear in saying this.

Being picked on, no matter what the reason, is nothing more than a form of bullying, especially when the person getting picked on isn’t laughing.

I can attest to a lifetime of being picked on that often felt like nothing more than just being bullied. People have told me time and time and time again they only pick on me because they like me and yet when they’re doing it, getting a good laugh off of my expense and I’m not laughing, why do they keep doing it?

Maybe it has to do with this quote I read the other day from a man named Benjamin Walker who once said, “I always felt that if someone picks on you it’s because they’re not happy doing what they’re doing…” and I tend to agree. It actually makes a tremendous amount of sense that the only reason why anyone picks on another is because they aren’t happy with some part of themselves and so they deflect from that and instead pick on another, tearing an individual down, rather than building them up, temporarily feeling better about themselves in the process. People like this also tend to deflect even further from looking at themselves and the parts they aren’t happy with when they’re answer to a friend asking them to stop picking on them is, “You need to develop a thicker skin…”

I don’t need friends who act like this. What I need are friends who lift me up, who point out my assets, rather than make fun of my flaws or imperfections. I once had a friend who used to constantly point out that I had a bald spot growing on the back on my head and would laugh incessantly each time they mentioned it to me. It was never funny to me and even when I told them to stop saying things like that, they kept doing it. Not once did I ever make fun of their biggest struggle though, which was their weight. Rather, I accepted that part of them unconditionally.

People who continue to make fun of some part of you that you might be struggling with, even when they see you aren’t laughing about it, are nothing more than an insecure bully who isn’t happy with some part of themselves, even if they say they are happy with every part of themselves. How can you tell? Because they typically can’t take getting picked on themselves and get angry about it when they do. A more important lesson here though that I’ve come to learn is that someone who truly loves and accepts themselves unconditionally usually does the same with others and doesn’t enjoy having fun at their expense. But if they don’t love and accept themselves unconditionally, they often will pick on or pick apart those closest to them and find enjoyment in having fun at their friend’s expense. While I do have a few close friends that can pick on me at times, as I can with them as well, it’s only because it’s with aspects of ourselves that we’ve come to love and accept unconditionally and even share in common. Generally, we both laugh about those things profusely, rather than only one laughing at the other’s expense.

I’m thankful for those friends, friends who know me well enough to know when it’s ok to pick on some part of me and when it’s not. But friends who say, “I only pick on you because I like you…” and respond with, “You need to develop a thicker skin…” when I ask them to stop, aren’t friends I need or want in life. They are nothing more to me than a bully picking on another they deem as weaker than them, all to deflect from actually looking at the parts of themselves they aren’t ready to face or see, parts they still struggle unconditionally loving and accepting, instead lashing out at another’s expense…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson