USA Today had an article on the front-page of its website the other day that was titled “First openly gay Episcopal bishop divorces husband.” After reading the first few lines of it, I began to wonder why a gay couple divorcing should even be front-page news.
Prior to gay marriage ever being legal in any of the United States, there was an average of 2 heterosexual divorces per minute when calculated out over the entire year. Rarely, if ever, did a single one of them receive front-page news unless it dealt with a famous person or couple. But here was a homosexual couple getting just that, and it’s not the first that I’ve seen in recent years. Some of the original same-sex marriages in various states where it became legal have also gone through divorce and they too made front-page headlines when it happened. So why have these very few gay divorces ended up receiving front-page treatment when the excessively large amount of heterosexual ones that are occurring every few minutes don’t?
Well in the case of the gay bishop, Gene Robinson, his original notoriety came from being the first openly gay man to be elected as a leader in the Episcopal Church in 2003. His election ending up causing a divide within the Episcopal community and resulted in formation of the Anglican Church. I remember celebrating his appointment after reading the front-page news all the years ago that covered this event. I saw it as a step forward in achieving full equality for the gay community. But zoom forward to over a decade later and now the news is focusing in on a sad time for the same man. His divorce from his partner only adds to a growing stereotype that gay marriages don’t last and this is the precise reason why many of the news outlets cover these types of divorces.
Case in point, as I mentioned already, there have been several divorces by some of those couples that fought for gay marriage rights in various states. And just as Robinson’s divorce landed front-page news, so too has each of these. The main picture that’s being painted with this is that same-sex couples aren’t strong and healthy and any of their marriages won’t last.
What’s disappointing is that there are plenty of gay marriages that have endured quite happily for years and years and are still together, but none of them have received any front-page news. The news also hasn’t covered the vast majority of the 2,400 heterosexual divorces that occur per day. So what’s the message that’s really being portrayed when the media shows another same-sex marriage is ending in divorce? It’s that a gay marriage isn’t that strong and won’t last unlike a heterosexual marriage. And although that’s a completely false representation of the real truth, it’s what people will believe.
It’s truly sad to say but people believe everything they read in those news headlines and all it does it polarize us all even more to opposite corners. The real truth is NOT that gay marriages are weak, it’s that ALL marriages BOTH gay and straight, are falling apart these days. Close to 50 percent of all marriages are ending in today’s day and age. That’s the real data and it’s not just about homosexual couples, it’s about heterosexual ones too. It has to make people wonder what the foundation was in of all of these divorcing relationships. I know it has at least in my case and I definitely know that when I get married, that my Higher Power will be at the center of it and not my ego and selfish desires.
Regardless, I pray that the media will stop covering these same-sex divorces because it’s only going to end up separating people in society with opposing opinions about equality and gay marriage. As an alternative, why not focus on all the happy marriages that have lasted for years and years, both gay and straight? Why not start covering the reasons why they have lasted so long? If we do, then maybe then we all might stop caring about whether gay marriage is right or wrong and instead place the focus on having better long lasting relationships…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
