Month: May 2014

Faith In A Greater Calling

It’s been over four years now since I began working on healing myself holistically. I can’t say it’s been an easy ride as there have been plenty of days like today when I question whether I’ve made any progress at all. But there’s one thing I feel that’s kept me going through all of them, and that’s my belief that I have a greater calling for this life.

As a kid, I used to wish my greater calling would be that I could heal other people from their physical handicaps. Back then when I saw anyone who was missing a limb, paralyzed, or dealing with some other type of disability, I always imagined how wonderful it would be to heal him or her with simply a touch. Part of that desire probably stemmed from the many faith-based healing services I used to attend with my father.

But sadly as I grew older, I got sidetracked into a vast array of addictions from alcohol and drugs, to sex, and to just about everything else. During those addiction-fueled years, I stopped thinking about what my greater calling was and instead focused on my selfish desires to use some type of physical thing in this world for comfort. I watched as my compassion disappeared for those who were suffering in this world and I saw how I didn’t care anymore about looking for my calling at all. But, that all began to change for me though just over four years ago now.

You see it was in 2010 that I started realizing I had spent the majority of this life getting caught up in the dead-end paths that my addictions led me into. I also had discovered that no matter how much stuff I had in life that it never was going to bring me the long-lasting happiness, peace, and love I really desired. All of it reduced me one day into a torrent of tears where I got on my knees and begged Whomever was out there to guide me out of the mess I had placed myself in for years. I blindly asked the Universe to help me get back on the path that would lead me to whatever my greater calling was supposed to be for this lifetime. Soon after that prayer, I developed a lot of physical, mental, and emotional health issues that science and medicine provided me no answers or relief for.

Since then, I have become able to think so much more clearly and my emotions are a lot more stable then they ever used to be. What hasn’t changed YET is my physical health as I still am having extremely difficult days with it, such as today. But what keeps me going and what I still believe inside is that my Higher Guidance has a plan that’s so much bigger than what my brain could ever have imagined for me. I only pray and hope that every part of my essence and being will continue receiving the strength and guidance needed to get me there. While I don’t know whether my greater calling will eventually be what I always imagined as a kid or not, I do know that I’m doing my best today to just trust that my Higher Guidance will lead me to whatever it is.

I truly believe all of us have a greater calling in this world, but unfortunately, so many of us get lost along the way from pursuing it. We end up allowing things such as addictions, money, and power to derail us from the pursuit of it. Thankfully that’s not the case for me anymore. The only thing I’m pursuing these days is my greater calling. And I know what is sustaining me on days like today when my physical pain is so great is my faith that I actually have a greater calling at all. Please God continue to guide me in that direction and thank You for when the day arrives when I am free of all this pain…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

“One Of Those Days…”

Have you ever had one of those days where things might have started off ok and then suddenly, one thing after another starts going haywire until you find yourself extremely flustered? For people like myself who are in recovery from former addictions, it is days like this that can put us in serious jeopardy with relapsing back into them.

Last week I actually had one of those types of days. While it began just fine, it didn’t stay that way as the day progressed. First my physical pains drastically increased in my body. Then my car developed a problem that the repair shop couldn’t seem to fix after repeated attempts and visits to them on the same day. And finally I was notified in e-mail that the tool I have been using to write this blog and all the archived articles are going to disappear by the end of June. By the time the evening came that day, I can honestly say I wasn’t having the best train of thoughts. In fact, I became the exact opposite of the positive energy I normally try to put forth each and every day. And this is the precise moment when a person in recovery like myself can succumb to the ego’s temptation to go back to an addiction for a little comfort.

Thankfully, my recovery is a lot stronger today to handle days such as this. My relationship with my Higher Power is also much closer and I know that helps me immensely when one thing after another seems to spiral out of control on a day like I had last week. Unfortunately I allowed myself to go a little too far into some dark thoughts that evening and it took prayer, meditation, and some help from my partner to pull me out of them.

I can see why a person might want to go back to their addiction when their day gets completely unraveled like mine did. Addictions are all about numbing oneself and what better way to do that by picking up a drink, a drug, or some other type of addiction. Sadly, the relief one gets from doing so is really just an illusion and only temporary. Those unfortunate situations that arose on that frustrating day all still need to be addressed, as they didn’t go away. What does go away though when a person heads down this path is their sobriety and recovery.

My sobriety and recovery today are the most important things I have in my entire life. Because of them I have that deeper connection to my Higher Power, I have friends, I have a partner, and I have a lot more happiness and joy within my life. Each of these things helped me not to relapse last week when I experienced that domino effect of a day. And I haven’t relapsed on any of the other ones that have happened in previous years either. No one says in recovery that life is always going to be filled with blue skies and sunny days. There may be plenty of them, but there also are going to be days when things might not flow so well. And it’s on those days when we must use the strength in our recovery to make it through them. I’m so thankful I did last week when I had one of those days and I ironically I felt a lot better physically the next day, the repair shop found and fixed the problem with my car, and I developed a plan of action to begin migrating my blog over to a new tool. I’m glad I didn’t relapse, as I know I wouldn’t have seen any of these things happen the next day if I had done so.

So if you are in recovery from an addiction and happen to being having “one of those days” like I had last week, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and realize that a relapse is gong to do nothing good for you in the long run. Utilize the tools in your recovery, seek your Higher Power through meditation and prayer, and know in doing so, you will be able to navigate through this day and any other one of them when they arise again…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

How Well Do You Really Know Those Closest To You?

How well do you really know those whom are closest to you? Whether it’s someone you’ve considered to be one of your best friends for a long time, someone you’ve been dating for quite awhile, or someone you’ve been married to for years, are you honestly able to say you know a lot about them? Sadly, many of you probably don’t even though you might think you do.

I used to like watching The Newlywed Game on television when I was growing up because it was always apparent when a husband didn’t really know his wife very well, or vice versa. On many of the cruises I’ve been on over the years, they’ve held a similar version to this game but the couples don’t have to be married. During many of those shows I’ve watched how many partners have gotten frustrated at their other halves for not knowing some of the most basic details about them. I’m quite sure that if best friends could take part in that very same type of show, the same principle would end up holding true. The reality is that too many of us don’t truly know much about those whom we spend a majority of our life with. So why is that?

Could the simple reason behind that question be that we are frequently more focused on our own selfish interests and agendas instead of really getting to know those closest to us?

For years I called many individuals my best friends and I rarely knew anything about them at all. With some, I was only concerned about my sexual interests in them. With others, I was only interested in some gift or talent they could offer me that I didn’t have to offer myself. In either case, the bottom line is that I was mostly focused on what I could get out of them instead of fully getting to know them. It’s sad to say but that’s also true with all the people I dated or became partners with in the past as well. My life was often so selfish that I missed out on great opportunities to really get to know those whom I was spending the majority of my time with.

Thankfully, I am a much better listener today and spend a lot more of my moments getting to know those whom are closest to me. I do believe I know my best friends and my current partner a lot better now as compared to those who used to be a close part of my life. What’s changed is that I’m not so self-absorbed anymore. I don’t have hidden agendas. And I very much care about those I spend time with. What that means is that I do my best these days to get to know each of the people in my life on a much deeper level and I have to thank my Higher Power for getting me to this point.

I decided to end this entry with a set of 20 questions from various sources online that are just some of the basic information we realistically should know about those whom are closest to us. I hope each of you will take the time to answer them with those whom you are spending a good portion of your life with. If you find you can’t answer the majority of them, are your needs, wants, and desires taking a higher priority over getting to know those you say you love? A good remedy to changing this is to start listening a lot more to those people and you could start now by getting them to answer these questions…

1. What is their favorite ice cream flavor?

2. What is their biggest pet peeve?

3. What is their most favorite thing to do for fun?

4. What is their favorite color?

5. What is their dream job?

6. What is their dream vacation?

7. What is their favorite movie of all time?

8. What is their favorite book of all time?

9. What is their favorite hobby?

10. What is their favorite type of food?

11. What is their favorite meal?

12. What is their favorite restaurant?

13. What is their favorite television show of all time?

14. What is their favorite store to go shopping at?

15. What is their biggest challenge they face in life?

16. What is the most difficult thing they’ve ever had to go through in life so far?

17. What is their least favorite thing they have to do in life?

18. What is their main goal in life?

19. What is their Higher Power?

20. What time of the year do they enjoy the most?

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson