“How do you know if you’re an alcoholic?”
That’s a question that has been frequently pondered by so many individuals in this world. At one point in time, I was actually one of them. Unfortunately, the path I took to find that answer wasn’t a short one, as it’s usually not for most others as well.
In my case, the main reason was that I had been a functioning alcoholic. What that meant is that I functioned just fine in life while carrying on my excessive daily drinking. Most of that drinking took place during my college years and somehow I maintained good grades, several leadership positions in my fraternity, a part-time job, and various other social obligations. All of that made it very difficult for me to identify whether I was an alcoholic or not. The fact was I allowed myself to believe that I wasn’t since I handled my duties in life just fine. Add in the notion that many others, who also drank regularly, surrounded me on a daily basis, and that answer became even more clouded.
Once I left college, things became so much clearer though with my drinking. I spent the first six months getting drunk where I would finish each night by hurling into a toilet and then passing out in the living room. I also started playing the sick card due to my hangovers and began having trouble making it into work. Suddenly I found myself not functioning so well anymore as a drinker. The final straw came towards the end of that six-month period and it dealt with my sexuality.
I didn’t want to have an attraction to men back then and it definitely wasn’t a choice. But when I began to notice I was developing romantic feelings for my best friend, I started drowning them with as much alcohol as I could. That led my life to spiral completely out of control and it was then I finally knew that alcohol has become my master.
Thankfully, I am able to say with ease today that I am an alcoholic. It’s been just about 19 years now since I had my last drink and I’m extremely grateful to God because of it. Sadly, there are great numbers of people out there though who are still trying to figure it out for themselves. Some of them may even go their entire life trying to find that answer. I know of one man who spent 50 years living as a functioning alcoholic until his deteriorating health finally gave him it.
If you happen to be someone who has been questioning whether you may or may not be an alcoholic, I encourage you to click the following link. There you will find a self-test, which will hopefully help you arrive at an answer. My only prayer is that if it helps you you’re an alcoholic, that you don’t spend another day drowning it in booze. Please know that your life is worth so much more than that ok?
http://www.ncadd.org/index.php/learn-about-alcohol/alcohol-abuse-self-test
And here is one other good resource as well: http://americanaddictioncenters.org/rehab-guide/
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson