I like roller coasters a lot. In fact I consider myself a major enthusiast of just about any kind of them. But there is one type of coaster that I do not enjoy and never have, and that’s the one I experienced in life when I was an active addict.
No matter what type of addiction a person might suffer from, there really is a great similarity that can be made of their life to that of a roller coaster. There are those huge hills that represent the quest for the next high. Then of course there are the rapid descents on the other side of those hills that represent the crash after their high wears off. Depending on one’s addiction, some of those hills can be quite extreme, both in the highs that are achieved and the drops that are felt afterwards.
What’s great about riding an actual roller coaster at an amusement park is that it only lasts for a short period of time and it always ends. But this is not so for the active addict. Their roller-coaster of a life never ends as long as they stay active in their addiction.
Can you imagine what it might feel like to ride one of those extreme roller coasters again and again and never get off of it? I can, as I tried it once at an amusement park in Virginia. There I rode an eight-loop roller coaster non-stop for seven consecutive rides. By the time I was done, I felt so sick I thought I was going to throw up. It also ended up ruining the rest of that day because my equilibrium got completely unbalanced. There really is no difference when it comes to the type of roller coaster an addict will experience when active in their addiction, except the symptoms may be a little different. They usually will experience things such as headaches, jitters, anxiety, depression, fear, worry, anger, rage, loss of appetite, obsessions, and dry heaves, to name a few. None of them are ever pleasant either. Sadly though, when those symptoms subside for an active addict, they begin looking for their next high and start that ascent up the coaster hill all over again. Soon they will reach the top just like before, only to repeat the pattern of hitting the next bottom of another big drop.
I’m so thankful I’m not on that endless roller coaster anymore. When I finally found recovery from all of my addictions and began to place myself 100 percent into it, I experienced what a real roller coaster feels like as it ends. In other words, those hills got smaller and smaller and smaller, until things leveled off completely. Thankfully, being in my recovered state now probably best resembles that of a kiddie coaster. There are little hills and dips I have each and every day, but none of them ever cause me to crash and burn like I once used to with regularity. I believe this is the normal ebb and flow of how life is supposed to be and I’m incredibly grateful to my Higher Power for helping me to get to this point.
Life doesn’t have to be an extreme roller coaster ride for any of us, but you can sure bet it will be if you allow an addiction to take control of your life. If that by some chance has happened already to you, then I pray you find a Higher Power and seek recovery immediately. In doing so, it’s a safe bet to say that rickety never-ending ride will finally be able to come to an end…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
