I often hear many folks in AA say that every meeting they attend is always a good meeting. But of course I’ve also heard just as many with an equal opposing view say there are plenty of bad meetings as well. I’ve been learning on my spiritual journey though that when I label any meeting as good or bad that I’m not only making a judgment, I’m also being somewhat self-centered too.
This topic of good and bad recovery meetings is one I continue to hear about in many of the ones I attend regularly. In fact, quite a few newcomers seem to be posing this question all too often lately during them. I believe there is a simple answer to that question.
Who am I to say which AA meetings are good and which ones are bad?
Unfortunately I used to do this all the time. I’d badmouth one meeting in favor of another and never thought once there was anything wrong in doing that. But what I see now is how self-centered that behavior was. How did I ever really know whether someone might enjoy going to a meeting that I didn’t? And maybe that meeting was already working for many others? What I’ve recognized through my spiritual recovery is how judgmental I was being when I did so. I also saw how most of those meetings I was biased with were do to areas of my life where my ego was still in control.
This same argument can also be applied towards the meetings I once said were the best ones to go to. How did I ever really know that a meeting that worked for me would work for someone else? Making that decision for another was also being just as judgmental and self-centered.
First of all, recovery is a tailored process for each and every individual. What works for one person may not work for another and that includes what meetings to attend. To prevent this from happening, I try to focus now on improving my recovery in every meeting I attend. I do that by looking for the positive at each and every one and I always am able to find it if my Higher Power is the one guiding me.
And second, one of the main points of 12 Step recovery programs is to reduce the ego. Making judgments about any meeting is not helping that to happen, it’s actually expanding it. The ego wants to believe it knows more than everyone else. Telling someone which meeting is better than another helps the ego grow rather than shrink. I’d prefer my ego to shrink these days and one sure of doing that has been to not label any meeting as good or bad.
The bottom line is this. When someone asks which AA meetings are the good ones to go to and which ones are the bad ones to avoid, the best answer anyone can give is no answer at all. Instead, let them always choose for themselves. In doing so, two character defects that often plague many alcoholics and addicts will definitely lessen, that being making judgments and being self-centered.
I end this with a question to ponder.
Instead of talking about which AA meetings are the good ones and which ones are the bad, isn’t the most important thing for each of us to just get to any meeting?
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson