Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

A little old lady tried to phone her local bank but was put through instead to the bank’s call centre in India.

“Is that the Adams Street branch?” she asked.

“No, madam,” replied the voice at the other end. “It is now company policy to deal with all telephone calls centrally.”

“Well, I really need to speak to the branch,” said the old lady.

“Madam, if you just let me know your query, I’m sure I can help you.”

“I don’t think you can, young man. I need to speak to the branch.”

The call centre operator was adamant. “There’s nothing that the branch can help you with that can’t be dealt with by me.”

“Very well then,” sighed the old lady. “Can you see if I left my gloves on the counter, as I believe I left them behind this morning when I was there?”

Silly Joke #2

A kindergarten had received a number of complaints from parents regarding the state of a hawthorn hedge that surrounded the school playground. It was so long and thorny in places that several people – including children – had received scratches. The town council had rejected all calls to trim the hedge, so the school decided to undertake the task themselves and proposed cutting back the hedge every three months to ensure that it stayed in shape and posed no danger.

To this end, the school formed a special committee of parent volunteers, each of whom took responsibility for a particular aspect of the operation. The key area was finance, and since one of the parents was an investment banker, the committee thought he would be the ideal person to set up an account from which money could be drawn to cover the costs associated with maintaining the hedge.

But when he was approached, the investment banker firmly declined, saying: “There’s no way I’m getting involved in any more hedge funds.”

Silly Joke #3

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Opportunity.
Don’t be silly – opportunity doesn’t knock twice!

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

A Fond Remembrance Of My Father Through The Glenn Miller Orchestra…

There are a few things that really remind me of my father, Glenn Miller being definitely one of them and thanks to the Glenn Miller Orchestra performing in Tiffin, Ohio last Friday night, I was able to spend a few hours fondly remembering my Dad.

When I was growing up, my father regularly played Glenn Miller’s music in our home, all on vinyl. And whenever he did, he would tend to wave his finger and bop his head to the tunes, usually leading me to the incessant rolling of my eyes, wondering how anyone could like the Big Band sound. You see, at the time I was mostly into hip hop and rap music, so the idea of listening to the swing melodies of something like “In The Mood” or “Pennsylvania 6-5000” totally bored the heck out of me. Yet, years after my father’s passing, I began to notice that anytime I’d hear Glenn Miller’s music anywhere, like in a store, a restaurant, at a friend’s house, in a movie, or on a television show, I’d frequently smile and wave my finger and bop my head to it, just like my Dad once did. And that’s precisely why a guy like me, who usually listens these days to nothing but electronica and house music, found myself utterly excited when I saw that the Glenn Miller Orchestra was actually coming to Tiffin, Ohio, just an hour away from my home in the middle of May. But, even better was when my close friend Frank, who’s actually from Tiffin, informed me I didn’t have to buy tickets to it, as he was given four of them as a gift from someone he knew. It’s then I wondered if maybe I was in alignment with the Universe for a brief moment, given how far off I’ve felt lately from the Divine alignment of things.

Regardless, when the night of the concert finally arrived, I decided to invite my father’s Spirit to join me that evening, as I couldn’t imagine him not being present with me for such an event. And in all honesty, I couldn’t remember if my father ever got to see the Glenn Miller Orchestra during his lifetime, so for me this was a special occasion that I really wanted my Father’s Spirit to somehow be with me.

Not too long after that silent prayer and invite, I took my seat in The Ritz theater in Tiffin, along with my partner Chris, Frank, and another friend I invited named Kyle. As we all looked down upon the stage, I saw the setup just like it appeared on some of the Glenn Miller vinyl albums I inherited from my father and felt my heart flutter a little. I also experienced some goose bumps at the same time and for a swift moment, I felt as if I was probably making my father proud for going to see and hear something he once loved so much.

When the concert began shortly thereafter, it started with a song titled “Moonlight Serenade”, which was one that my father loved to slow dance to with my mother. From there it picked up quickly into many of the tunes that my father used to play oh so often. And while I might have cringed over and over again in my younger years during all those moments when the needle on those records played Glenn Miller’s songs throughout our house, I instead smiled in my balcony seat and felt a few tears well up in my eyes, as I experienced a fond remembrance of my father.

And for the course of almost two hours that evening, I waved my finger and bopped my head just like my Dad once did and could almost see him sitting there next to me doing the same. But you know what, I actually think he heard my silent prayer and invite that night because I truly believe he was there that evening, as my heart went home that night feeling quite full of love for someone I truly miss and will always love…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson