Month: October 2019

Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to this week’s Grateful Heart Monday, where finding something to be grateful for is always the focus of these entries, which for today is actually for something I’ve struggled to be thankful for over the past few years and precisely why I’m choosing to rectify that by expressing a little gratitude for the city I currently live in, that being Toledo, Ohio.

When I came to Toledo, Ohio to live full time back in February of 2014, I was so excited to finally be moving in with my partner after two years of long-distance dating from over 600 miles away. The following year, as my health issues multiplied and my pain levels drastically increased, I found myself starting to bash this city. That’s when I began fixating on all the negative things I perceived to be wrong with Toledo, when in all reality, there were still a large number of things to be grateful for with my life here.

Of course, first and foremost, I’m forever thankful for the fact that Toledo is my partner’s hometown and for knowing how much this city means to him. There’s a wealth of cherished memories he has from here that he’s shared with me along the way and that’s helped me quite a bit to see Toledo in a much brighter light. But beyond that, I really do have plenty more to be thankful for when I think of the life I’ve lived thus far here in Toledo.

Thankfulness that includes, but is not limited to the many day trips I’ve taken to the Toledo Zoo, including each year for the Chinese Lantern and Christmas Lights displays, for the many enjoyable meals I’ve had at local dining establishments such as Tony Packo’s, Zia’s, The Brownstone, Angelo’s Northwood Villa, La Chalupa, San Marcos, QQ Kitchen, Hot Sizzling Wok, Jing Chuan, Mama Mary’s, The Oliver House, Al Smith’s Place, Mayberry Diner and more, for the less than a block walk I have to sit by beautiful Lake Erie’s shoreline or walk on during the winter when the ice is super thick, for the afternoon drives my partner and I have regularly taken to the Maumee Bay State Park and Crane Creek Park to see nature at its best and always for free at that, for catching a few games of the semi-professional Toledo Mudhens baseball team and Toledo Walleye hockey team, for being able to attend a number of good concerts in this area, especially Hall & Oates, Adele, and the Glen Miller Orchestra, for the many good plays and musicals I’ve seen at both the Stranahan Theater and the Valentine Theater, particularly the Book Of Mormon and The Blue Man Group, for the annual visits my partner and I have had to the Wildwood Manor House at Christmas to see holiday decorating at its finest, for visits to the Toledo Art Museum that has free admission and consistently reminds me of a mini-Louvre, for the vibrant and unique way each change of season seems to get represented here, for the fact that I pay far less in living costs in Toledo versus any of the prior cities I’ve lived, for the reality that traffic here is the least I’ve ever experienced versus any of the other cities I’ve lived in as well, for the countless times I’ve found myself meditating at the Side Cut Metropark where I actually created this website’s picture, for the innumerable fun miniature golf courses I’ve played all around this vicinity time and time again, for being only a hop, skip and jump away from Cedar Point, one of the best amusement parks in the world, for the two trips my partner and I have taken to a cozy island out in Lake Erie named Put-In-Bay, one by a friend’s tiny plane and the other by a friend’s small motorboat, for yearly trips to a city just north of here named Frankenmuth just to get Christmas decorations from the world’s largest Christmas store named Bronner’s, for the few friends I have made here who have stuck by my side and continue to appreciate my crazy sense of humor and weirdness, for the Angel’s Landing Spiritual Center that has been the first place of worship I’ve looked forward to going to in well over a decade, and last but not least, for all those I’ve met through my 12 Step recovery work here that have helped me to remain clean and sober one day at a time for over 24 years now.

So, yes, I sure do have loads of gratitude for a city I haven’t shown much love for in the past few years and for that I’m truly sorry. Because Toledo, Ohio is as much of a beautiful city and something to be grateful for like any of the other cities I’ve resided in throughout my life. Sometimes it just takes shifting one’s perspective to see it, which I’m most certainly thankful for I did…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question Of The Day

Today’s question is…

Has there ever been a movie that at first you totally hated while you watched it, but by the end you totally loved it? If so, what was the name of it?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

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“Brittany Runs A Marathon”, An Exceptional Film That I Went From Totally Hating To Totally Loving…

Have you ever watched a movie that you found yourself hating throughout the majority of it until suddenly it all came together by the end making you completely love it instead? “Brittany Runs A Marathon” was one such film that did this very thing to me just recently.

Based upon a true story, “Brittany Runs A Marathon” is about a woman named Brittany (played by Jillian Bell) who is extremely unhappy with her life on just about every level. Self-loathing, self-deprecating, hating the fact that she’s seriously overweight, frequently drinking and drugging to numb herself from those facts, and constantly character-assassinating others to make herself feel better, Brittany is an incredibly hard person to like. Her only friend is her attractive, self-absorbed roommate Gretchen (played by Alice Lee) who seems to enjoy being around her because it makes her look better. One day when the pain becomes great enough though, Brittany decides to go outside and start jogging, for one entire block. Quickly realizing how unhealthy she’s become on just about every level in life, she sinks to the floor in her kitchen and begins to sob, which in turn attracts the attention of her physically fit and regularly jogging neighbor Shannon (played by Jennifer Dundas), someone Brittany is very much jealous of and judges quite a bit. But when Shannon extends an olive branch and invites Brittany to jog with her in a local running club, Brittany actually shows up and along the way runs into another person equally as unhappy with their health, that being Seth (played by Micah Stock). As new friendships attempt to make their way into her life of people who actually do genuinely care about her, and what begins as a desperate attempt for a quick fix but soon turns into a quest to become something better and far different than the person she’s come to loathe so much, Brittany is on a marathon to discover that deep down within her is and has always been a person to like and to love.

Going to see “Brittany Runs A Marathon” honestly came as a last-minute decision due to feeling exceptionally frustrated and empty inside one afternoon. Making that abrupt decision to go see it was definitely one of the best ones I’ve made in recent times, as this movie totally ran me through the gamut of emotions that in the end paralleled the spiritual journey I’ve been on since 2010. Back then, I was no different than Brittany, silently scorning myself and everyone else too, living in addiction, and selfish and self-centered to the core. While my desire for change didn’t begin with a pledge to jog one city block, it did begin when I opted to get on my knees and mutter a deeply-heartfelt prayer to God to become a much more spiritually-centered, instead of addiction-centered, individual. Ultimately, I simply wanted to become a selfless disciple of God. Ever since, I’ve been on my own marathon of sorts, one that on far too many days I’ve wondered if I’m ever going to make it to the finish line, wherever that is and whatever it looks like, neither of which I’m sure at this point. Indeed, like Brittany, along the way I’ve gone through many intervals of transformation that’s included a lot of pain, hardship, losing a number of friends, and feeling like God is a million miles away. Yet, somehow, like her, I’ve kept running, one day after another, all with one goal in mind, to complete my marathon, that being to self-heal from within from all the toxicity I took in from countless lower vibrational actions I partook in from this life and four prior ones as well. While God may not have shown me any ending in sight yet from this long-suffering marathon of sorts, I can say that the individual I’ve become thus far is a far more likeable one than who I was when I began it.

So, for now, I continue to live with faith and hope that one day I’ll cross some type of finish line where like Brittany, I can look back and see that all the pain and agony I experienced getting there was more than worth it because frankly, I’m worth it.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson