“I AM SO FILLED WITH CHRIST’S LOVE!!!”

One of my favorite exchanges of lines out of all the movies I’ve ever seen with religious overtures comes in the film “Saved” starring Jena Malone as Mary, Mandy Moore as Hilary Faye, and Macaulay Culkin as Roland, and it goes as follows:

Hilary Faye: “Mary, turn away from Satan. Jesus, he loves you.”
Mary: “You don’t know the first thing about love!”
Hilary Faye: [Throwing a Bible at Mary] “I am so filled with Christ’s love! You are just jealous of my success in the Lord!”
Mary: [Mary picking up the Bible] “This is not a weapon! You idiot!”

So, why do I consider this one of the best exchanges of lines ever in a religious movie, even if this one was in a religious comedy? Because it’s such a great depiction of why I don’t label myself a “Christian” anymore and why I maintain that I am instead simply a follower of Christ.

First of all, I just have to say this, in my humble opinion, Jesus Christ’s message wasn’t, “Hey, let’s create a whole new religion called Christianity, where we’ll have this book with a bunch of new chapters that we’re all going to follow. And hey, we’re going to use this book as a weapon at times for those we judge aren’t following it or doing things the way we think they should!” But sadly, that indeed is what much of Christianity has become and what many other religions have become as well around the world.

That’s why when I’m asked now what my faith is, I tell people I follow the true teachings of Christ to the best of my ability, which at their bare essence was not to follow a set of rules and laws, and create judgments and opinions from them. Rather, it was merely two principles.

“To love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind and to love others as much as you love yourself.”

But, somehow, our world has drifted so far away from this and instead created a complexity that Jesus himself came two millennia ago to abolish. And sadly, now I’m seeing this complexity even in this presidential race.

Everyone seems to be waiting with baited breath presently on who’ll become our next president for the following four years, and many of them who label themselves as Christians are angrily shouting to the masses about who Christ would want as our next president and who carries the best values of Christianity. But do you know what I think? I think Christ wouldn’t have cared less about who our next president is going to be. He’d tell us all that the real work is not at that level and instead is within us to love each other no matter what our differences are.

That’s why every time I watch this Republican versus Democratic battle play itself out on the news or in social media or even amongst friends and loved ones, I think of Mandy Moore in Saved throwing her Bible at Jena Malone. The fact is, none of this is practicing the unconditional love that Christ came here to spread. Judging someone by saying, “It’s in the Bible” isn’t being unconditionally loving and doing so only makes the person sound like they’re speaking on behalf of God. I know many Christians who think it’s ok to do this, simply because, “The Bible says so.” But, no matter what way you put it, condemning a person using the Bible, or any other spiritual book for that matter, isn’t being unconditionally loving, it’s judging.

So, how did we all get so far away from truly loving and embracing each other like Christ once asked from all of his followers?

My answer would be fear, as to embrace everyone just as they are, no matter what walk of life they come from can be quite difficult for many, especially when it feels so different from what one’s mind thinks should be the norm. That’s why I feel the Bible has become such the tool of segregation and division in the world these days, as it’s sent far too many people into great places of darkness when passages get thrown at them, when they’re told they’re sinners in the eyes of God. I often feel that it’s religion itself that continues to drive our world into the very darkness that many religious people want to prevent.

Because of that very reason, the message I do my best to live now is to love all people, from all walks of life, to love followers of Trump and followers of Biden, to love both the gay and the straight and everyone in between, to love not only those who worship like me, but those who may not worship at all or worship quite differently, and to even love those who don’t or won’t ever love me because of who I am, because in their eyes I’m an abomination to God.

So, until I see Christianity living out the true message that Christ brought of loving each other unconditionally and until I see all those Bibles and those passages from it not being thrown anymore at others like Mandy Moore did so comically well in the film Saved, I remain simply a follower of Christ and won’t label myself as a Christian. And, you know what, I think God is quite ok with that, because Christ wasn’t the one who created Christianity anyway, human beings did.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question For The Day

Today’s question is…

As a kid, what was the most favorite thing you liked to get in your trick-or-treat bag? (Note: It could be some type of candy or something else.)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson


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Grateful Heart Monday

It’s Grateful Heart Monday, a time solely reserved for expression of gratitude from my life, which for today is for still having faith in God, even when there seems to not be any reason to keep that faith anymore.

Yes, I know this sounds rather drab and maybe not even sounding very grateful at all for a Grateful Heart Monday entry. But let me assure you, having this type of faith still in light of how I feel and been feeling for as long as I have, especially throughout most of 2020, is most definitely something to be grateful for in my life.

As I write this, (a week ago from when this actually is being posted), I feel every bit of despondency within. As most know, I’ve really struggled to keep going lately with all the health issues and chronic pain I continue to face after so many years of this now. In the past bunch of months, I’ve actually wished for my death more than I’d like to admit, but still remained grateful to those who continue to pray for me to keep going and acknowledged that as my piece of gratitude a few Monday’s ago. Regardless, somehow, I’ve continued to hold onto my faith in God as well, even though there are countless moments now where I feel like I shouldn’t anymore.

To be totally honest, having suffered for as long as I have with a number of painful ailments, no matter what I’ve tried to do to make any of them better, I still cling to my faith in God. Because you see without my faith, a faith that God still has a plan for me that’s far better than a life filled with daily bouts of chronic ailments, I feel there would be no reason for me to keep going.

I wholeheartedly believe this type of faith I’m living every day now is what you would call blind faith. Blind faith is something that transcends all rational thought. It’s when you dig your heels in the ground and hold your trust and belief that God won’t let you down, even when it feels like he already has and has totally abandoned you.

It was easy to have faith when God gave me lots of signs to keep going, when I felt every bit of God’s presence through even the most difficult of days. But now, in constant anguish and tears that typically start each of my days, and without experiencing any of those signs and presences of God for a long time, I STILL look to God anyway to get me through all this, which is exactly what I’ve come to know is blind faith. So, I trudge on by remaining grateful, grateful that I still have my faith in God, even when I can’t seem to even find enough energy to put a smile on my face, like I totally struggled with today.

It’s so hard to going on living like this and I cannot fathom why God wants me to keep suffering like this for as long as I have with no relief, no matter how many attempts I’ve made to ease it. Of course, I know there are plenty of others out there suffering just as much, if not more, but even that doesn’t seem to be of much help anymore in knowing that. The only thing that’s been of help is my blind faith, because it keeps propelling me forward, even on excruciatingly painful days like today, where I found myself angry at everything, including God, and even cursing the day I was born.

I would never wish this life upon anyone, and although I have a partner, as well as food, water, and shelter, each of which I’m grateful for, and although I have a sister who loves me, a few close friends who truly do care about me on levels I probably couldn’t even quantify, and plenty of people praying for me, none of that is what keeps me going anymore.

The only thing that keeps me going now is my blind faith in God, a type of faith that even though I don’t know why I keep on believing, I still do. I cling to this faith that I’ll be delivered from this life of pain-filled hell, and is precisely why I’ve dedicated today’s Grateful Heart Monday to the faith I still have. Because, I’ve arrived at a place in my life now where there seems to be no person, place, or thing that can convince me it’s worth it to keep going, yet my faith in God continues to do just that somehow and for that I’m filled with gratitude.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson