Month: January 2022

The Cost Of Not Practicing Forgiveness…

Why do people feel the need to hold onto resentments, anger, and the like? Why is it so hard to forgive? What benefit does it really offer someone holding onto all that negativity towards another? I can’t speak for anyone else, but I can tell you from my perspective, the only benefit it’s ever served me was my mind telling me it was to protect my heart from ever getting hurt again. Yet ironically, harboring all that inner anger and resentment, thinking it was protecting my heart, was only ever hurting me anyway, keeping everyone at bay overall.

Losing so many people throughout my life from family to other loved ones truly left me jaded and feeling broken. For the longest time, I didn’t let anyone in and walked around with an incredible amount of anger and resentment and a wall around my heart. I refused to forgive those who had left my life feeling so broken, which in turn left me a very bitter and very alone individual in life.

Developing close friendships and intimate relationships with others takes having an open heart. It takes being vulnerable. It takes letting go of the past. And it takes forgiving those who we feel broke our hearts. So long as we hold on to the pain of the past, keeping a wall around our hearts, living in resentment and anger, we’ll never let in anyone long enough and deep enough for them to stick around to love us for the rest of our lives.

I’ve worked hard in my life to remain vulnerable, to forgive those who hurt me immensely, to keep my heart open, which in turn has led to experiencing a closeness with friends and loved ones I wasn’t able to prior. People often open up with me now, feeling safe to do so, because I don’t walk around with a sword out and a shield up, like I once did, ready to stab the next person who came along and said or did anything that reminded me of the people I was still harboring anger and resentment towards.

Here’s the simple reality I came to see through it all. If you really want to be free of anger and resentment, if you truly want to experience closeness in your life, and don’t want to feel alone in this world, I’ve learned it means forgiving those that hurt us, I’ve learned it means not comparing others to those who hurt us in the past, and I’ve learned it means always keeping an open heart.

The only person who really ever ends up hurting by harboring anger and resentments towards another, by not forgiving anyone who led us to feel broken, is ourselves. Because in harboring any anger and resentments from the past will only leave us bitter and alone, complaining the world has done us wrong, when really it’s only ourselves that has done us wrong, by not practicing forgiveness and doing what we can to keep our heart open for new love to enter our lives…

Peace, love light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

I’ve truly struggled with the amount of long-distance friendships that have fallen to the wayside over the years, often not because of my own efforts to keep them going. Today’s set of quotes are ones I found comfort in surrounding this subject and agree with wholeheartedly…

“Long-distance friendships are like wind to a fire; it puts out the small ones, but inflames the big ones.” (Roger de Rabutin)

“The people who are meant to be in your life will always gravitate back towards you, no matter how far they wander.” (Unknown)

“It is easy to have a sense of connectedness through social media, but long-distance friendships, even close ones, may require more conscious effort to maintain. Seek out opportunities for “friendship renewal” through face-to-face time when possible. Making an effort beyond social media is what keeps a long-distance friendship intact.” (Jeffrey A Hall)

“Distance is just a test of how far friendship can travel.” (Unknown)

“Distance sometimes lets you know who is worth keeping, and who is worth letting go.” (Lana Del Rey)

“I’ve come to see that true friendships meant to endure the test of time and even distance comes down to one thing, both are willing to go the extra mile for each other.” (Andrew Arthur Dawson)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to another chapter of Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude remains the sole focus in my writing for the day, which for today is for all the effort my best friend Cedric continues to put into maintaining our long-distance friendship, matching my own efforts, that has kept our connection close for well over 24 years now, and for two others who continue to do similarly, that being my dear friend Dexter, and my sister Laura.

Maintaining long-distance friendships is tough. At least in my case I’ve learned that keeping one in a close fashion takes a lot more than just talking on the phone from time to time. Countless friendships in my life have fallen to the wayside whenever I’ve moved away, usually due to the lack of effort put into keeping them going. Out of sight, out of mind, is often what I think happens in these cases. While a phone call here and there does tend to stir my heart when I talk to a long-distance friend I haven’t seen or spoken to in a good while, it’s never been enough to help keep that bond feeling close like it once was when I lived close by.

Cedric and I have come to understand this over the years. To keep our friendship close, we have regularly scheduled phone calls with each other, usually twice a week, and visits to each other as well, usually twice a year. Ad one thing Cedric and I both do when we aren’t feeling up for a call on one of our regularly scheduled times is we immediately reschedule a make-up time, typically the next day or so. And when it comes to visiting each other, we alternate going to each other’s homes every six months, spending a week each time, as that has always been enough refresh our close bond.

I’ve tried to maintain other long-distance friendships similarly, but except for my dear friend Dexter, and my sister Laura, none have really seemed interested in putting much work into it, which has led to infrequent conversations over the phone and me feeling a growing distance with most of them. The fact that Cedric and I have maintained the closeness we continue to share for as long as we have is simply because we keep putting forth the effort to keep it going.

Close friendships, like any type of relationship, take a lot of work, and ours has definitely required much of that, especially in light of some of the differences in religious beliefs he and I have now. Yet, we continue to love each other dearly, accepting each other unconditionally, knowing the true bond that keeps us going isn’t really in our efforts alone, it’s in our devotion to God. As it’s God who has helped us overcome each of those ego-struggles we’ve had from time to time over the years, pushing us to go deeper within, which in turn has led to far stronger bonds and increased efforts to keep our connection spiritually growing.

One thing I’ve been very grateful about Cedric’s efforts specifically is his willingness to come visit me, even when my pain levels have been severe, when I haven’t wanted to do much of anything. He would tell you that his purpose of coming to see me isn’t for what he’s going to do while on his vacation time, it’s simply to just be with me, even if it’s only to sit around and reconnect. That effort alone is priceless in my spiritual book and something I’m extremely grateful for.

I honestly wish I had other long-distance friendships beyond him, Dexter, and my sister, with others who would like to talk to me weekly and see me each year, but I’m grateful nonetheless for the efforts the three of them continue to do with me, to keep our connection close, especially in recent years, where I’ve very much struggled with my health and feeling alone. Each of gone above and beyond to maintain a close long-distance connection with me, and for that I’m truly grateful on this Grateful Heart Monday.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson