“If you hang out at the barbershop long enough, you’re bound to get a haircut…”
I’ve lost count of the number of times that someone has taken a moment during their share at a 12 Step recovery meeting to mention this slogan. It’s become such a cliche now that I usually expect to hear it at least once during any time I attend a recovery meeting. But maybe that’s because this saying has such profound truth to it, especially for those who have suffered from an addiction at any point in their life.
It’s unclear where this slogan originated. My guess is that most people would probably say it began with Bill Wilson using it during the early days when he first started up the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous. The original idea behind this slogan was supposed to be a parallelism for those alcoholics who were trying to remain sober but still were choosing to hang out in bars. Eventually, it was found that those people who did that, only relapsed and fell back into an active state of alcoholism.
While I’m not a big fan of using any type of slogan when I speak, as you might already know from my previous entries, that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate them like I do this one. Throughout my life, I have suffered from various addictions that began with alcohol and drugs and ended with sex, love, codependencies, and obsessions. During the active periods of any of those addictions, I allowed my ego to run the show and rarely did I stay away from those people, places, and things that triggered me to partake in those addictions. Unfortunately, even when I began the path of recovery for each of them, my ego still held onto some form of control. It would convince me at times that it was ok to hold onto some of those people, places, and things, even though they triggered me. And the result was always the same. I fell back into one of the many addictions that had afflicted me previously.
When someone hangs around those people, places, and things long enough that are triggering for their addictions, the defenses and walls they built up for protection against those addictions begin to wear down. And being around any of them long enough, will totally remove every last bit of their defense until the person relapses completely back into their addition.
After my first few years of sobriety, I grew very comfortable, no doubt too comfortable, with the amount of time that had passed without taking a drink and a drug. As my sober years continued to pass by one by one, I went back to those bars and clubs, and made friends with those who were actively suffering from alcoholism and drug addiction. I stopped working on any type of spiritual recovery program and like that saying goes, the longer I hung around those toxic people, places, and things, the more I became like them. Thank God, I never did go back to alcohol and drugs, but what did happen was that I still grew more toxic, found other addictions, and increased my negative traits and character defects. Truthfully, it probably was only a matter of time before I would have picked up alcohol and drugs again at the rate I was going.
The bottom line here is this. Each of the 12 Step recovery programs have taught me a very valuable lesson and that is I can’t be around any of those people, places, or things, on any regularly basis, where my former addictions run rampant. Because if I do, there’s a good chance I’ll fall back into doing any one of them again. So for those former gamblers knowing this now, I’d encourage you to stay away from all those casinos. For those former sex and love addicts, I’d encourage you to stay away from all those pornographic websites and sex shops. For those former overeaters, I’d encourage you to stay away from all those all-you-can-eat buffets. For those former drug addicts, I’d encourage you to stay away from all those dealers and people still using drugs. For those former alcoholics, I’d encourage you to stay away from all those bars and liquor stores. And well, I’m sure you’re getting my point by now. But in any case, just know that that it really is true that a person who hasn’t had their haircut in awhile is eventually just going to get one when they choose to hang out in any one of those barbershops long enough…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
