I’m always amazed how I usually seem to meet people at social gatherings who remind me so much of myself, either from my past or present. I had the pleasure of meeting one of them this past Saturday at a get together that was based around a meditation class I had taught earlier in the evening. During the potluck meal that followed afterwards, I got to know this 58 year old gentleman who said during one of our conversations, he only dated men that were 35 years old and younger. What I found ironic about his statement, is how much it reminded me of something I might have once said when I had a set of requirements for someone I would date.
For the longest time, I had a list of “things” that a person had to meet before I would even consider going out on a date with them, let alone making them a partner one day. While one of those was never an age requirement (other than over 18 of course), the list was quite specific about many other things such as a person’s religious background, their dimensions, their amount of body and facial hair, their financial status, whether they suffered from various addictions, and how masculine they were, just to name a few. To put it quite simply, this list did nothing more than prevent me in many, many ways from ever being opened to whomever the Universe could have been trying to send my way. What happened instead is that I ignored person after person who made an attempt to contact my personal ads as soon as I saw specific criteria that didn’t match my list. And I spent many years single because of this. Interestingly enough, when I did meet those few people who met most of that criteria on my list, we were never a good match for each other.
When I finally let go of that list and all the criteria on it, I essentially made the statement to the Universe that I was open to whomever would be considered a good mate for me. And shortly after that, my partner Chris appeared in my life. During our first conversation online, he said something had strongly compelled him to respond to my personal ad when he was perusing through some of the dating sites on the Internet. We’ve been together now for 18 months and in all honesty, it’s been the best relationship I have ever had.
In regards to my new friend’s “35 and younger” criteria that he spoke of often the other night, what I really saw in our conversation was a mirror reflecting back onto myself. This mirror reminded me of all those days where I thought many of my own criteria were so important for me to finding that perfect partner. But what I truly realized after so many years of holding onto my list of requirements for that future partner, is that it only blocked me from ever being able to meet someone like Chris, who honestly didn’t even fit some of them.
While I tried to explain this to my “35 and younger” friend the other night, he ended up maintaining his resistance for the entire evening to ever dating any man who was even just a few years older than that. Hopefully one day, he and all others who continue to hold onto some type of criteria for a potential partner, will realize the following truth my Higher Power helped me to see….The only thing that criteria is ever going to do is blind them from seeing a person the Universe knows they are meant to be with.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson