Month: June 2014

Social Media And Me

Just last week I decided to return to Facebook after leaving it several years ago. In addition, I activated a twitter account, much to the surprise of my spiritual teacher. While I also have had a Google Plus page for some time now, none of these social medias are being utilized by me for what one might think.

The truth is, the only reason why I have any of them today is to support this blog. While the main purpose of why I started writing was to help myself heal, it seems as if my words have also been helping others to heal as well. With that being said, I know how important it is in today’s day and age to use social media to reach greater numbers of people, hence the reason why I’m now using Twitter, Facebook, and Google Plus. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been working on automating this blog’s posting process to publish the links to my posts simultaneously on all three. Beyond that though, I have no desire to utilize any of them for what so many others are these days.

Since the emergence and explosion of social media, the planet seems to becoming more and more immersed into living in a bits and bytes world. While I only enjoy using the Internet and its social media for research and to publicize my writings these days, there was a time when the majority of my life was spent on them.

I was once guilty of taking “selfies” constantly and posting them. I was also notorious for placing my status out there of where I was at any given time. But all of that behavior just made me a lot more selfish and self-centered to be perfectly honest. It also often got me in trouble when I posted my harsh opinions about various things out there for everyone to see. The worst part about it though was that I became more interested in living a digital fantasy life than I was in connecting with others in person. And sadly, all of these things are the unfortunate side effects to what the social medias and the digital age seem to be doing to society now.

While it’s my hope that greater numbers will find my blog now that I’m more connected on these social medias, I refuse to allow myself to use them for any other purpose other than this. I really don’t want to ever return to that old life where I made myself believe I was that important solely because I had hundreds of friends connected to me online. I also don’t want to go back to posting throughout the day where I’m at, what I’m doing, or about any of my other day-to-day things. I really don’t believe that my life is meant to be important on that kind of a level, but I do believe the spiritual words I write have far greater depth and weight because they continue to not only help me heal but others too.

Hopefully I can stick to my words and keep the promise to myself that I won’t let the social medias take over my life all over again. And hopefully people will find my blog a little better now. But what I really want is to continue experiencing the majority of my life outside of this bits and bytes world, and thankfully, I’m still doing that.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Another Test, Another Spiritual Lesson

Sometimes I find myself lately having to chuckle over the many tests the Universe continues to hand me to see if I’ve learned various spiritual lessons. One of those actually came my way just the other day when a person once toxic for me, attempted to contact me through my website.

It’s been over two years now since I last was in any physical or verbal contact with this man, whom I’ve referred to in a few of my previous articles as “John”. John was always a mirror to me for my many character defects I wasn’t able to see within myself over the course of the four years we were in each other’s lives. My addiction-prone life got the best of me back then and that consistently prevented me from truly seeing the mirror. After experiencing a long saga of fights, arguments, threats, drama, and way too much stress, I finally recognized how unhealthy and codependent our connection had become. That was when I made the decision to end the friendship, as I clearly saw how it was directly impacting my ability to spiritually grow and heal under my Higher Power’s direction.

Over the past two and a half years since then, there were times I missed the good parts of that friendship. But just like a single drink or a drug would do to me, I felt that any contact with John could drive me back down a dark path that would be completely toxic and unhealthy for me. The true test of following that belief came last week when I endured three deaths, some problems on the home front, and several physical health frustrations all at once. At my lowest moment, I received a random email from John saying hello that came through the contact form on my website. For a few moments, I debated on whether to respond to it or not, but I knew that urge was only coming from my old codependent behaviors. I didn’t respond and I’m grateful I didn’t because what I experienced over the course of the next few days reminded me all to well as to why I made the decision to end that connection in the first place.

From what I gathered, John later read my blog and found the few I had written that were about my former relationship with him. Instead of seeing those entries were about my own spiritual journey and the painful lessons I’ve had to learn along the way, he took my words personally and in a negative way. He then contacted my sister and her husband because of it. Shortly thereafter I received a very negative instant message from my sister’s husband. He was quite upset about whatever words John had shared with him. I didn’t respond because I knew in my heart that no explanation would have done any good. Two days later, I also had to work through some things with my sister as well because of John’s contact to her. It was during that conversation though; that I had to do one of those chuckles. As it was then I realized the drama I was going through was no different than how my relationship used to be with John regularly all those years ago.

The fact is that I don’t want, need, or desire any drama in my life anymore. I also don’t want to put my friends or my family in the middle of my own personal struggles with others anymore either. I’m so thankful I resisted those old codependent urges to respond to John’s email, as I know that nothing good would have come of it.

While I truly can’t say whether John has changed or not over these past few years, the toxic patterns of what happens when he and I are involved with each other on any level are still clearly evident. Returning to that connection today would be no different as compared to how things used to be back then between us. So I’m very thankful to my Higher Power for not only helping me to resist those urges, but also to see that the door is definitely meant to remain closed between John and I.

While I do truly pray for God’s love and light to fully shine on John’s life, my spiritual path is one that no longer holds a place for him on it. Sometimes the Universe really does test us to see if we’ve truly learned spiritual lessons such as this, and thankfully, I feel in this case that I have.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

Sometimes I exceedingly obsess over various things that really aren’t that big of a deal. Some have even occasionally said over the years that I have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Lately, my yard seems to be one of those OCD things that has had my complete and undivided attention, and it took a neighbor walking by the other day to remind me that I need to stop sweating the small stuff.

I guarantee you’d probably have a good laugh if you ever saw me working in my yard. In the spring, I seed it over and over again to fill in even the smallest of bare spots. During the summer, I often cut and edge it several times a week as well as watering it several times a day. During the fall, I have even been known to pick up the leaves as soon as they land in the yard. The fact is I’m so overly meticulous with my lawn that I have even used a shop vacuum to suck up any random debris that’s ever on it. Looking at this as I write about it, I can clearly see how OCD these behaviors are. But there’s a deeper lesson that God showed me with it and it’s one that was hard not to notice. It dealt with the local lawn care company I utilize to do the fertilization, weed, and grub control.

I contacted this company last week and let them know that I didn’t want them to come out and do any more treatments until I spoke with the guy in charge of doing my lawn care. That decision was due to the large amount of new grass still coming up. Rule number one in good lawn care is that you don’t put any chemicals down on new seedlings until they are fully-grown and have been cut a few times. The company acknowledged this and promised I’d get a call before any more treatments would take place. Little did I know though that God had another plan and it was one that would really highlight how much I still do sweat the small stuff?

It started when I came home in the middle of last week. As I pulled into my driveway, I noticed the small sign in my yard indicating that chemicals had been put down. Less than 48 hours later, a large section of my grass in the front yard was completely dead and totally brown. It was very obvious given how much of a lush green and manicured lawn I normally have. How did I react to this? I’m not proud of it, but I flipped out. First on my partner, even though none of it was his fault, then on the worker who placed those chemicals down, and finally with the owner of the company itself. What I mean by flipping out is that I became overly dramatic about this burnt grass. If you had heard me, you would have thought my world was coming to an end. When one of my neighbors walked by and saw me completely in OCD mode over it, she said rather bluntly “Don’t sweat the small stuff!” She then went on to say she learned that lesson as she watched her husband wither away and die over the course of five years due to a disease.

She was right, as my yard is truly not that big of a deal, as compared to so many other things that have a lot more depth and weight in life. Last week, three people I knew tragically died and my yard became my OCD escape from dealing with part of it on some level. While that obsession was definitely a much better escape than the many toxic addictions I once would have done over events such as this, the fact is it was still an escape and escapes aren’t healthy either. I can see now that my avoidance of fully feeling the pain of those deaths is what led me to sweating the small stuff like my burnt yard.

I know I need to continue working on this part of me, as it’s a negative behavior that’s plagued me much of my life. I’m very grateful that God spoke to me through my neighbor because her message truly helped me to see this. The fact is I know that God was trying to tell me to stop sweating the small stuff this past week. I’m just glad my eyes were open enough to acknowledge it and make a little progress in learning this invaluable lesson.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson