Month: September 2014

Oh Those Facebook “Likes”!

I recently updated my profile picture on Facebook solely because the one I had been using was more than several years old. What I didn’t know was how this simple action was going to appear on the general newsfeed for everyone else to see. It didn’t take long for me to realize that though when I began receiving one “like” after another, and while I was grateful and flattered for each, all of it got me thinking about why my blog postings haven’t been getting nearly the same attention.

Why should this even matter, one might ask???

I’m pretty sure my spiritual teacher would say it doesn’t and I also believe she’d say that the only thing it’s really mattering to is my ego. In all reality, that’s probably true on both accounts. The fact is I never began this blog with the purpose of gaining the world’s attention or approval. I began it as a way of getting back into writing as well as furthering the healing processes going on within me.

Writing was once a daily part of my life, but I abandoned it back in 2007 when a long-term relationship ended and my sex and love addiction took off. I’ve learned through much of my recovery work that addictions usually rob a person of their creativity. In my case that was definitely true. I never had any energy leftover to write because I was always channeling most of it into one of my former addictions. When I finally found sobriety from all of them, I knew I needed to start putting that energy into something else that was far healthier. Sadly, many people often go from addiction to addiction because there is an abundance of energy that sits idle when they cease any one of them. For example, when I quit alcohol and drugs, I suddenly felt a huge surplus of creative energy within me. But instead of pouring it into something creative like my writing, I put it into constantly chasing after sexual relationships. The actuality is that most creative hobbies require people to be by themselves and that was the last thing I ever wanted to do back then. Thankfully that’s not the case for me today, as now I’m able to be by myself more than not and actually enjoy it. With that being said, I started this blog as a way of channeling that former addiction-based energy into something positive for myself, but it’s also had an ever better effect on me as well. It’s helping me heal.

Life has its many ups and downs and I’ve discovered that my writing can frequently help me work through any of those low points when they occur. How that happens always starts with me asking my Higher Power for guidance and then I just typing about what I’m feeling inside. Eventually through the words I write, I’m often led to the spiritual answers I’m seeking and in all truthfulness, this blog entry has been an example of that.

While my articles may never receive the amount of “likes” that a profile picture update can get, or even what those goofy you tube videos, various opinions, or generic statuses of people doing their day-to-day things can generate, the reality is that it genuinely doesn’t matter. I’m writing now because I want to write and not be stuck in addictions. And I’m writing now because I want to heal and not be stuck in any type of negativity.

So I’ve decided that if my Higher Power somehow guides any of these words to help another enough to where they end up giving me one of those “likes”, I’m just going to be grateful for it, because having even one “like” is far better than having none at all now isn’t it?

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Tyler Doherty And His Letters To God

Staying positive and inspiring hope in others can often be an extremely difficult thing to do, especially when suffering from chronic pain, a long-term debilitating illness, or some type of a fatal disease. Personally, I do my absolute best these days to transcend my own painful limitations I’ve had to deal with over the past few years so that I can be that for others. But sometimes it takes some external inspiration to continue generating that and one way I do this is by watching a little gem of a movie I own now that’s titled “Letters To God.”

“Letters To God” is loosely based on the true story of Tyler Doherty, who was only 8 years old when diagnosed with a very aggressive form of brain cancer called Medulloblastoma. During the remaining two years of his life, Tyler went on to endure many high dose radiation treatments and chemotherapy, as well as several stem cell transplants. Yet through it all, he consistently retained a huge will to live, a smiling face, and a positive attitude that inspired many around him. One of the things that Tyler did in his remaining months to help keep himself going was to write several letters to God, of which would go on to become the inspiration for the movie itself.

This movie humbled me greatly when I first saw it several years ago. In fact, it was the first thing that ever made me look at my chronic pain issues from a completely different light. It was actually because of this movie that I began to realize I didn’t have to live in constant misery for as long as my physical pains might last. Since then, I’ve re-watched this film again and again anytime I find myself needing a gentle reminder of this. I’m so grateful for someone like Tyler Doherty who found plenty of ways to keep on smiling no matter how unfortunate his circumstances were in life. The hope and encouragement he gave to others is demonstrated so beautifully in the movie and I encourage anyone to go see it, particularly those who may be suffering from any of their own unfortunate conditions life has handed them.

So Tyler, I want to thank you for having been such a powerful vessel of love during your very brief life, even through all the pain and tribulations you had to go through. I’m dedicating to you my own letter to God because of it. May you be blessed Tyler wherever your are now, and may your story continue to bless many others just like it has for myself.

Dear God,

I want to thank you for people like Tyler Doherty, who you sent here to become such an inspiration to many others like myself. I know I haven’t always been able to maintain the most positive and upbeat attitude possible when it comes to the health issues I’ve been going through these past few years. But I want You to know that I will keep doing my best to remain as optimistic as I can, so that I may too be a source of hope for others going through their own trials in life just like Tyler once did. Thank You God for the humility I’ve been learning because of my current circumstances and thank You once again for Tyler Doherty, as I know his story is one that will continue to inspire me to persevere no matter what I end up having to go through during the remainder of my life…

Love always,

Andrew

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

 

 

 

“Say What I Mean, Mean What I Say, But…”

“…Don’t Be Mean When I Say It!” is one of the better spiritual catch phrases I’ve learned over the years. Unfortunately, so many frequently overlook the last part of this phrase becoming quite cruel in the process when trying to convey their words to another. Sadly, I was regularly guilty of this myself for a very long time.

When I used to be under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or any mind-altering substance, it actually was quite common for me to say some pretty nasty things towards others. I definitely always said the words I meant to say and without a doubt, meant what I said as well at those particular moments in time, but how I conveyed them was usually with a tremendous amount of anger and vulgarity. All that resulted in was a lot of the same behavior coming back at me from those I had sent those harsh words towards. None of this behavior changed much either during all the years I got caught up in other addictions.

It wasn’t until I became free of my addiction-prone life that I was able to start letting go of the majority of my past resentments and burdens in life. As I cleared more and more of that wreckage away from within, the more my heart became open. And the more my heart became open, the more I began believing that each and every person in this world contained a part of my Higher Power. And the more I began believing that each and every person in this world contained a part of my Higher Power, the more I began feeling the pain and suffering of everyone else. And ultimately, the more I began feeling the pain and suffering of everyone else, the less I wanted to inflict any more of it upon any of them.

I’m a lot more guarded today with all my words I express whether they’re oral or written, as there are too many I once said to others I wish I could take back. But the reality is that I can’t, thus the only thing I can do now is what I’ve been doing, and that’s to proceed forward in life by doing the best I can to not be mean in any of the ways I choose to communicate. I believe the key to making sure this happens is to keep my Higher Power in charge of my life and to stay in my heart and out of my ego. I find myself pausing quite a bit now to ensure this happens, as I don’t want to hurt anyone more than they already might be hurting inside.

So while I do believe it’s extremely important to always say what I mean and mean what I say, I know now that being mean when I say it is only going to result in causing more pain and suffering to another extension of my Higher Power. The last thing I would want nowadays is that, thus I will continue doing my absolute best to not be mean in whatever I say, as I know it will help not only me, but all others as well, on our spiritual journeys towards greater enlightenment…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson